quick q and a

If you have questions you’d like me to address, feel free to comment here or else email me directly at shaemadigan@comcast.net. I will reply personally, and also, with your permission, post the response here. Here are answer to questions from readers of the blog and also some people in and around my slavery:

1. How long have you lived as a slave 24/7?

One year, ten months. Master Michael bought me early in March 2017. He and I had some prior experience together as dom and sub. I had come to know I wanted/needed the extreme life of slavery. He decided he wanted to own me. He decided it was best for us to start my slavery in a house that was new to both of us. It also was ideal in location, setting, for my slavery. My 24/7 live-in slavery officially began later that March.

2. Are you married to your master? Is he a boyfriend? How do you understand your relationship with him?

No, I am not married to Master Michael. Nor am I his girlfriend. We both consider me to be his slave, his property. In fact, Master Michael has other relationships with women, as he wishes, although they are kind of a different category for him, social dating. He and I are very close and we have a relationship of mutual caring, common interests, and obvious attraction. We both agree that relationships are more fluid than people ever know, that categories don’t work. And in a way, Master/slave relationship is perhaps the deepest, most intimate relationship there is.

3. When did you start experiencing/exploring your submissiveness?

I had an experience when I was twelve that, looking back now, I interpret as an early example of my innate submissiveness. Maybe there were incidents earlier, but that’s the earliest I remember. I had other experiences as a teenager that I consider submissive responses to situations. My first active of exploration of submissiveness was in college — the common “tie-me-up-with-scarves” thing, that became explosively powerful to me. But even with that, I pretty much didn’t explore anything more in my early twenties. I got married when I was twenty-five, a marriage that lasted just four years. He traveled a lot and wasn’t present much of the time. I happened to fall into another relationship with a man who was a BDSM player. He did some things with me, to me, mild in context of what I do now, but at the time became a revelation to me of how extreme my inner submissiveness actually is. Soon, I was reading a lot about submissiveness and BDSM lifestyle and began to discover that I was not only submissive, but I was an extreme submissive.

4. To you, what’s the difference between being a submissive and being a slave?

I think there are incremental degrees of submissiveness (and on the other side, dominance) in probably all people. For most it is slight and inconsequential. For some, like me, it is extreme, to such a degree that it is literally the nature of my sexuality, personality, and life. I cannot experience pleasure apart from submission to dominance. (That might be a bit of an overstatement, but not much.) But being a submissive is nothing more, or less, than that. It is what one is, what I am, by nature. But it’s not something I necessarily do or act upon. One can be submissive and lead a normal, say, non-D/s life.

Being a slave is a life choice the submissive makes. It is what I submissive might choose to do with her life. As I have. And slavery is, of course the extreme path for submission. There are other lifestyles for that — part-time, scene play, etc. Slavery is the life of living in extreme submission 24/7.

Now, I think everyone in this corner of the world has different definitions of submission and BDSM and D/s and slavery and kink — and that’s OK. I don’t assume my definitions are only valid way to understand things. But that’s my two cents.

5. What are your measurements?

Oh, my. I don’t even know. When I once actually wore bras, I was in a 36-DDD bra. But, as any woman can tell you, bra sizes mean nothing. My waist is around 28/29 inches, and my hips are like 38/39. I’m usually a dress size 10, depending on sizing. I don’t go by actual measurements. I just know how certain brands fit me.

6. Do you have sex with women? Are you heterosexual? Bisexual? Pansexual? Something else?

Yes, I have sex with women. I love women. Again, I consider my submissiveness to be my sexual orientation, so I respond sexually to both men and women in the context of dominance. That said, even before I entered into slavery, or even much of a submissive life, I liked girls. So I think it’s OK if you think of me as bisexual.

7. Your slavery seems to be kind of a full-time thing, but do you have other interests, hobbies, pleasures?

Yes, slavery is full-time, though not so much in pure time measurements but in the sense of availability. I have time to do things, go shopping, socialize with friends. But I have to be able to drop everything for Master’s wishes and needs. Hard for me to make plans far enough ahead.

But, yes, I have a lot of interests. My main interest is writing. I like painting, although I’m not very good. I love to read. I’m actually a big fan of old Hollywood movies of the 30s, 40s 50s.

8. Do you have family, and what do they think of your slavery? Do they know? Does your master allow you to see them?

My father died too young when I was 22 and just out of college. My mom and I are close. I have a much older brother whom I hardly knew before he left home.

Master Michael allows me as much time as I need with my mom. She lives halfway across the country, but he allows me to visit there several times a year, at least. I don’t see my brother much more than every few years.

Both my mom and brother know about my slavery, although they don’t know the degree or intensity of it. My mom has met Master Michael, and of course he charmed the stockings off her. She actually said to him, “You should spank her good and hard because I never spanked Shae nearly enough growing up.” I didn’t think Master needed any encouragement, but he sure got a good laugh out of it.

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