After my last visit with Kevin, I had returned to Amanda saying that next time I needed to bring more lingerie to wear with him.
He likes me in chemises and the occasional babydoll, elegant styles not see-through, fabrics that drape and shape my curves. Last time he had said something about this. I realized he prefers seeing me in lingerie during the day not just at night.
With him, I needed to think of lingerie as my “always” wardrobe.
I mentioned this to Amanda, and in her newly assumed role as my pimp, last week she took me shopping. I came here to Kevin’s with a lingerie outfit for each day of this week.
He has worked mornings this week, coming home early afternoons to find me in lingerie and heels. “Always ready to be taken to bed,” he says, “even in the middle of the day.”
Each new time with Kevin is a little different. The character of his sexual need, I am finding, changes with each visit. Last time it was like an extended date, with him taking me out on excursions, even a picnic lunch one time. It was a slow woo.
This time we have not had day trips and, with the exception of the Labor Day party, he has kept me in the house. Whereas last visit he was slow and gentle, this time he has been impulsive and urgent. Perhaps he feels because he has me fewer days this time, he has to get his shots in, so to speak. Which is fine. I am to be what he wishes.
I have wondered about paid companions and how their relationship with a regular client changes and evolves over multiple times. What is the relationship she has with him?
I don’t presume she actually loves him, but are they like friends, friends with benefits? When he calls and says he’s going on a ten-day trip and he would like her with him, is she excited to be with him again or does she feel apathetic about him, perhaps enjoying the travel but not so much the man? Does she feel that ten days with a man she doesn’t care about is way too long?
Is she like I am with Kevin? That is, not “in love” but loving, comfortable in his company, and feeling safe with him? Does she also long, as I do for sex with a man? Does she dream about a man’s cock?
Or is that just me.
I confess I like being “kept” — by Kevin in this arrangement and also by Amanda in my slavery to her. It is the submissive nature to want to be kept.
I think in another life I could do this kind of work, being an escort or companion. What I could not do, I don’t think, is the random sexual business of a prostitute, because it is so un-relational, at least as I imagine it.
But being an escort or companion with regular clients, men you get to know and maybe like, that seems like something I could do.
Mostly I think I just like being kept.