notes to a slave girl, 1

I think the hardest thing in slave life is accepting you cannot control anything.

Initially when you enter the life, your submissiveness is thrilled, and you relish the order that comes, the restrictions and requirements, all these things that you have longed for in your deep parts.

But there comes a day, maybe the next day, when you wake up and realize you now live under someone’s ownership, that you cannot simply do what you wish to. You serve another. Your day is not your day.

My every morning starts with an outfit of clothing laid out on the bed bench by my mistress. She clothes me every day. It has become an intimacy I cherish, but it is also always the first sobering symbol of my lack of control. I cannot choose the color I feel like today or the skirt I think is cute on me. No, she controls my appearance always.

That becomes the first of a dozen things in my day to come, ways in which I cannot control my own life.

So it will be, or already is, for you. Those things will be different from mine, but, all the same, they will be numerous points of control applied by your master throughout your day. Some of these you will revel in, submissive that you are, but others not so much.

The hard part is not on day one. It’s on, say, day twenty-one or week thirty. You entered this life knowing D/s is not a single session but a relationship done in this different way. But until a submissive lives in it 24/7, she cannot really know the challenge of it day by day. You are experiencing this now.

All of us deep submissives have a need to be controlled and used. But we are also women with other normal human desires to be free. It’s this tension that makes D/s slavery so radical and remarkable. We choose to relinquish our freedoms in order to fulfill our submissiveness.

So what you’re expressing to me is normal. My experience and feelings too. It’s just that the slave life, while usually deeply satisfying to us, is also sometimes deeply hard.

3 thoughts on “notes to a slave girl, 1

  1. I imagine this would be deeply challenging! Thank you for sharing about this, shae. I don’t have many slave friends and don’t often get to hear about the ins/outs of the lifestyle. Sending you hugs ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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