We have been talking about 2021 and what that will hold for us. Amanda’s plans for me now are much the same as they were last year at this time — a testament to the lost time that 2020 represents.
For my part, I feel this year has been filled with things started but not finished. I had high hopes for a relationship with a sister slave, Emma, but that hasn’t developed, for COVID reasons and distancing. Amanda had gotten me into a submissive email exercise with a stranger (to me), Mr. Drake — but, for reasons on his end, that never played out. I was excited by a freelance opportunity with a journalist named Josh, editing interview segments for him; while that work continues and I am grateful for it, the work hasn’t extended into creative writing, as he had once promised — this also a slowdown prompted by Josh getting COVID and going through a long recovery. All of this has been disappointing.
I know Amanda feels the same way, not so much about things she couldn’t complete, but the many plans she had for me she couldn’t even start.
So much of Amanda’s vision for me is social and public, and that starts with exposing me to people. I mean “exposure” in the broadest sense, not necessarily physical undressing, though sometimes that, but more in terms of my being known to others as what I am — owned property, a slave, a sex slave. In such experiences for Amanda, there is an intersection of things that become her deepest fulfillment. It is her fun in training me into an additional dimension of slavery plus her pride in being seen to own and possess a slave like me plus her joy of providing to others the thrill of seeing me dominated and exposed. This is a trifecta of pleasure for Amanda — and largely thwarted in this COVID year.
While this has been frustrating to Amanda, it may be this has been good for me. I perhaps have needed a slower introduction into the public arena. This year has nonetheless yielded some outing experiences for me — notably with our neighbors John and Patricia — as well as some exposures, literally, to the landscaping crew back in the summer. So my conditioning into this vision of hers has been happening, though more slowly than she’s wished.
Anyway, here are her goals for me, verbatim, in the new year:
- Introduce, present, expose Shae to ten lifestyle friends. Individually, collectively, group parties, private engagements at the house.
- Find acceptable, appropriate ways of introducing Shae as a submissive/slave to three business clients.
- Continue to work the neighborhood. Bring two other neighbors on board.
- More active, physical domination of Shae — one event/exercise daily (at least five per week).
The first three are self-explanatory. The last one reflects Amanda’s belief that she has neglected somewhat the harder edge of my slavery. More for me to write about on this later…
As she and I have talked, she has acknowledged that in 2021 COVID won’t go away immediately or quickly, even with a vaccine. We will still be in some version of isolation for a while. She hopes that by spring we will all be more open in a safe way. Still, in the meantime she will work on these goals, most of them carried over from last year.
It may be that this is COVID’s last kick in the ass — that we all are destined to live out what 2020 might have been.