writing these days

It is the reality of my life these days that in one way or other I now serve three people. Amanda, of course, is my primary, and Kevin is a different kind of service, but servitude nonetheless, and now Master McKenna is a significant figure in my life, enough to demand more of my time and schedule.

I have no complaints but am a busy girl now, and it affects my writing in terms of available creative time. Thankfully, Amanda has foreseen this and has been decreasing my “assistant” time to her and her work. She doesn’t need me in the business so much now. She’s reduced my work time for her, down to just mornings for a while, then to just afternoons, and most recently to two full days a week. Next week, she says, she’ll whittle that to just one day a week, which will probably be Wednesdays.

There are still the challenges of time with Kevin and Master McKenna. My visits with Kevin become, in writing time, a lost week — four-plus days with him, two afternoons driving each way, and then a recovery time of a day or two. My training under Master McKenna consumes full Saturdays with him, but I use part of the next day to work on what he has just trained me in and part of the Friday before to review and prep. The point is that these parts of my life are mentally and well as physically demanding, and it’s not just about the literal hours I spend with them, but my recovery afterward as well that takes time. (It would be good if I could get some writing done those parts of days when Kevin is at work, but so far, that’s proven challenging to me.)

The other substantive change, though, is in what I’m writing.

Ever since I was a girl I wanted to write stories. My interests in high school was in English, and I majored in literature in college, alongside a creative writing focus. Even during my frantic career in real estate, I tried to make time to write. In my slaveries, thankfully, my owners have made room for my writing. It has always been my goal to write short stories and novels.

Lately, I have been more aware of my life and my age and the passing of time. It is becoming clearer to me that my future life will be in D/s relationship, and likely in slavery to Amanda, if she will continue to have me. At the same time, I am realizing I need to get more intentional about writing fiction if I wish to be published and develop writing as a real career.

So I need to be spending more time writing fiction.

This brings me to the question of what other writing consumes my time. My reality is that I’ve developed a considerable list of email friends and acquaintances. I love exchanging emails with them all, and yet this correspondence consumes a sizable amount of my writing time. I have had to slow down my frequency of email replies, sadly, and beg some understanding that this doesn’t mean I care any less. I will have to trim my emailing even more. I just can’t afford to respond to everyone as they might like — as I might like.

There is, of course, this blog. This consumes maybe forty percent of my available writing time. That’s a lot. However, this blog is not just my writing but it’s also my life. It’s here that I literally live out on the page what I experience in my slave life. It is a way in which I understand myself, my submissiveness, and my slavery. It’s how I process the alternative relationships I’m in.

While it’s hard for me to imagine cutting down on my blog writing, there are some things I might consider. I could, I suppose, spend less time editing and reviewing each piece before I post, but that would pain me and would yield a less than satisfactory reading experience for others. Truth is, my writing sorely needs editing before it’s fit for consumption.

I could write shorter pieces. In fact, I have been experimenting with this, as you may have observed, with briefer posts about this or that. The problem with this is that my blog is not enjoyed, I’m pretty sure, for my “reporting” of just the facts. People want to know more than that Amanda tied me to the wet bar. They want to know how I felt, what was the experience of it for me, and how did my relationship with her play out when she did me that way. Longer writing is what I do best. And what I enjoy the most.

I could post less often. But the simple fact is that I don’t really post to meet some quota anyway. Sure I am sensitive when I’m away from posting for a while because I know I have followers who like my blog, so I apologize and update — as I just did in my last post. But otherwise, I post things because I need to share the story of my life as it happens, and I need, for my own sake, to express my submissive reality. I don’t know if decreasing my frequency is the best option.

So, I don’t believe I’ll cut back on my blog writing. But somehow I need to write more on the fiction side.

Part of the challenge for me also is the kind of fiction I hope to write. I have written both erotica and mainstream fiction, along with some attempts at genre fiction (mysteries, espionage).

Erotica comes most easily to me, likely because I live an erotic life. I hold erotica in high esteem, and I think it’s a very legitimate form of literature. Yet if I’m to make a name for myself, likely it would be in these other genres not in erotica. But when I write a short story or map out a novella, it most likely is erotica, just because I enjoy writing it so much.

So I think I need to be more disciplined and devote more dedicated time to write my mainstream stuff. I’ll explore some techniques for doing that — perhaps slating certain full days for devotion to mainstream writing.

We’ll see. This is what I’m working through.

I remind myself that I am no different from most writers and the challenges they face. Many have families to attend to, social lives to live in, elderly parents to care for. Different lifestyles, but life is busy for all of us, and making time for the writing life is hard.

I am blessed to have the time I am given to write. My challenge is how best to use it.

14 thoughts on “writing these days

  1. I hear you, I get 14 hours a week respite time, (I am a 24 hr carer for my son) during that 14 hours I try to maintain a steady flow of mosaic work which takes up at least 3/4s of that time, (I earn good money from commissions, I can’t afford to let that slide) and I try and write something every week with the remaining time available to me. Like you, I have a passion for writing erotica but I do a side line in comedy scripts and comedy stage plays. I also have a deep seated need to write one main stream novel at least before I shuffle off this mortal coil. I will say, the most enjoyment I get from my writing is when I am writing erotica. I too hold it in high esteem, I do wonder whether I should just focus on that area and be damned with the mainstream stuff that everyone else writes too.
    It is challenging being a writer, I used to have to spend a lot of time explaining why I need to write, it isn’t that I want to, it is a deep seated need that I have no option but to feed!
    Good luck in your endeavour to carve out more fiction writing time, you are a skilled wordsmith and I for one would love to read anything you decided to put out there. 😀 x

    Liked by 2 people

    1. gemma, thanks for your thoughts here. as always, I appreciate the compliments… your schedule is a reminder to me of the challenges so many have to work through and around in order to make time to write. I imagine for you, the limited time you have is all the more precious for it; I also imagine, though, you may finally make it to that creative time rather exhausted. I don’t know how you do it. I suppose it’s similar for me, except my responsibilities are in lifestyle slavery to others, not in caring for a son or working for an income. those seem so much more demanding…either way, we share the reality that writing is for us a need not just a want. And sometimes even when we don’t feel like it, we still feel the need to… I think the question of writing mainstream versus erotica is worth wrestling with, which I will… thanks, gemma. 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I write erotic fiction and publish it to my blog,as you know. One day I took some of those chapters, turned them into an ebook and self-published it. This happened less than a month ago. So Shae, this could be something you might do – use the blog as your ‘draft’ for a future story, where you take personal experiences and turn them into a fictitious piece. Your protagonist will experience some of the manhandling by Kevin et al which serves as your inspiration, and part of the work is already done.

    I use Evernote, an app I can sync across all my devices, so when I have a thought, I just pick up whatever device I’m closest to and jot it down. Next time I’m at the laptop I pull up Evernote, and there it is, ready to refine.

    My book is about a vanilla midlife female protagonist who meets a Dom virtually and eventually in real life. I was partly inspired by my followers who write their own blogs, and you are one of those. Your writing, although factual to your personal experiences, is very vivid and evokes my own imagination to the degree that I was able to develop an accurate description of a D/s relationship for my characters (and got a raving review out of it). And not only that, it was commended by Doms who read (and follow) me – I felt giddy that people in D/s approved and validated my book.

    I tell you this to encourage you. Writing, after your service to Amanda and friends, is your calling and, if I’m understanding this correctly, a need. So do not dismiss it as “I don’t have time, I’m too tired”. You have a supportive partner who recognizes that this is something you cannot live without. I encourage you to keep at it. You will have your book. It takes time, it took me over a year (and I’m raising a family in lockdown so time and privacy for erotica is sporadic at best), but believe me, if I can do it while not technically “out” as an erotica writer to people IRL, you can definitely do it too. And much better than me.

    Good luck!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. cassandra, thank you for taking time to respond at length… FYI, I use Scrivener for my actual writing and a program called Notion for capturing notes and such. Notion is a bit complicated and has a learning curve, but it does sync across devices and platforms, like Evernote. but I might sample Evernote — thanks for the tip… I’m omg flattered that I have been part of your background inspiration for your novel. wow. I’m honored. so glad you got such good response to that. Is that “The Man from the South?”… My fiction writing, of course, is driven a lot by my fantasy life, less by my actual life, though, as it happens, my fantasy life and real life are not so far apart, yet I have kept them separate in my writing. I like your suggestion of using some of my blog writing as that basis for a fictional story. in a way, that’s kind of like using real life as “research”… Yes, my writing, like my submissiveness, is a need. and also, as you say, a calling. it’s the calling part, I think, that makes me want to produce something for mainstream publication…many thanks, for the encouragement, cassandra. 😃

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Yes, the novella The Man from the South is my first ebook. I even designed my own cover and am in love with it. So nontraditional for erotica… 😉

        I know Notion and find it much more complicated than Evernote. I also find Scrivener complicated. My experience with uploading files is that the big programs (KDP, Smashwords etc) all ask for Word documents so sooner or later you have to write there anyway…

        Good luck Shae! Have you considered a memoir?

        Liked by 3 people

      2. Agreed about Notion. I had to learn it for Amanda’s work, and I wound up putting my stuff in there. It’s complicated for sure. But I’ll wave a banner flag for Scrivener. Of course, I have used Word through college and work, and still use it now. It’s the standard. However, I didn’t find Scrivener that difficult, and in my humble experience, I find it so much better than Word in organizing and accessing parts of a novel or story, allowing you to retitle and rearrange chapters and scenes on the fly.

        Have not considered a memoir. Interesting idea. I’ll play with that. Thank you, Cassandra.


  3. Shae, my question would be, why do you write anything other than that which pleases you? You have already forgone a successful career to become a full time slavegirl. The beauty and courage which I find in that fact cannot be understated, but that leads me to believe that your motive for writing is not one of monetary gain. Somehow, I sense that your motive is not fame, although I certainly could understand a desire to leave at least some kind of small mark on the literary world. If it is not your passion, and your writing time is limited, why bother with it? I believe I would write what soothes my soul, pleases my heart, and affords a modicum of therapeutic value.
    Your blog is virtually my only connection to a world in which I once lived for quite a few decades. I am now separated from it by time and geography. Thank you for what you presently do, and best wishes in whatever endeavor you choose.
    The only thing worse than getting old is not getting old.
    Have a wonderful weekend.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. silkenlash, I hope to respond to your other comment as well — thank you for this one… you are right, I do not care much about monetary gain from writing, and I actually don’t want to become quote-unquote “famous.” also, I have no illusion of becoming a literary figure of any kind. however, I think we writers all want some recognition of being effective and compelling in our craft. Perhaps I see mainstream fiction as a measure of that. I don’t know… I appreciate the compliments and thanks for the encouragement. 😊

      Liked by 2 people

  4. Shae, let me start by saying how much I enjoy your blog. You are a fantastic writer! Your bravery in honestly sharing you life as a slave is inspiring. I have also throughly enjoyed your erotic fiction. You have a talent that many of us lack. Keep writing in whatever format. Keep writing ….

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Hi Shae. I’m a 36 year old woman in an M/s relationship (as the slave) with another woman and I just discovered your blog, which I’m finding so relatable! I also love to write and have kept journals for the past three years since this journey began for me, though I’ve never made any of it public. I hope you keep finding the time to write. It’s so nice to see similarities in someone else’s experience.

    Liked by 2 people

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