writing these days

It is the reality of my life these days that in one way or other I now serve three people. Amanda, of course, is my primary, and Kevin is a different kind of service, but servitude nonetheless, and now Master McKenna is a significant figure in my life, enough to demand more of my time and schedule.

I have no complaints but am a busy girl now, and it affects my writing in terms of available creative time. Thankfully, Amanda has foreseen this and has been decreasing my “assistant” time to her and her work. She doesn’t need me in the business so much now. She’s reduced my work time for her, down to just mornings for a while, then to just afternoons, and most recently to two full days a week. Next week, she says, she’ll whittle that to just one day a week, which will probably be Wednesdays.

There are still the challenges of time with Kevin and Master McKenna. My visits with Kevin become, in writing time, a lost week — four-plus days with him, two afternoons driving each way, and then a recovery time of a day or two. My training under Master McKenna consumes full Saturdays with him, but I use part of the next day to work on what he has just trained me in and part of the Friday before to review and prep. The point is that these parts of my life are mentally and well as physically demanding, and it’s not just about the literal hours I spend with them, but my recovery afterward as well that takes time. (It would be good if I could get some writing done those parts of days when Kevin is at work, but so far, that’s proven challenging to me.)

The other substantive change, though, is in what I’m writing.

Ever since I was a girl I wanted to write stories. My interests in high school was in English, and I majored in literature in college, alongside a creative writing focus. Even during my frantic career in real estate, I tried to make time to write. In my slaveries, thankfully, my owners have made room for my writing. It has always been my goal to write short stories and novels.

Lately, I have been more aware of my life and my age and the passing of time. It is becoming clearer to me that my future life will be in D/s relationship, and likely in slavery to Amanda, if she will continue to have me. At the same time, I am realizing I need to get more intentional about writing fiction if I wish to be published and develop writing as a real career.

So I need to be spending more time writing fiction.

This brings me to the question of what other writing consumes my time. My reality is that I’ve developed a considerable list of email friends and acquaintances. I love exchanging emails with them all, and yet this correspondence consumes a sizable amount of my writing time. I have had to slow down my frequency of email replies, sadly, and beg some understanding that this doesn’t mean I care any less. I will have to trim my emailing even more. I just can’t afford to respond to everyone as they might like — as I might like.

There is, of course, this blog. This consumes maybe forty percent of my available writing time. That’s a lot. However, this blog is not just my writing but it’s also my life. It’s here that I literally live out on the page what I experience in my slave life. It is a way in which I understand myself, my submissiveness, and my slavery. It’s how I process the alternative relationships I’m in.

While it’s hard for me to imagine cutting down on my blog writing, there are some things I might consider. I could, I suppose, spend less time editing and reviewing each piece before I post, but that would pain me and would yield a less than satisfactory reading experience for others. Truth is, my writing sorely needs editing before it’s fit for consumption.

I could write shorter pieces. In fact, I have been experimenting with this, as you may have observed, with briefer posts about this or that. The problem with this is that my blog is not enjoyed, I’m pretty sure, for my “reporting” of just the facts. People want to know more than that Amanda tied me to the wet bar. They want to know how I felt, what was the experience of it for me, and how did my relationship with her play out when she did me that way. Longer writing is what I do best. And what I enjoy the most.

I could post less often. But the simple fact is that I don’t really post to meet some quota anyway. Sure I am sensitive when I’m away from posting for a while because I know I have followers who like my blog, so I apologize and update — as I just did in my last post. But otherwise, I post things because I need to share the story of my life as it happens, and I need, for my own sake, to express my submissive reality. I don’t know if decreasing my frequency is the best option.

So, I don’t believe I’ll cut back on my blog writing. But somehow I need to write more on the fiction side.

Part of the challenge for me also is the kind of fiction I hope to write. I have written both erotica and mainstream fiction, along with some attempts at genre fiction (mysteries, espionage).

Erotica comes most easily to me, likely because I live an erotic life. I hold erotica in high esteem, and I think it’s a very legitimate form of literature. Yet if I’m to make a name for myself, likely it would be in these other genres not in erotica. But when I write a short story or map out a novella, it most likely is erotica, just because I enjoy writing it so much.

So I think I need to be more disciplined and devote more dedicated time to write my mainstream stuff. I’ll explore some techniques for doing that — perhaps slating certain full days for devotion to mainstream writing.

We’ll see. This is what I’m working through.

I remind myself that I am no different from most writers and the challenges they face. Many have families to attend to, social lives to live in, elderly parents to care for. Different lifestyles, but life is busy for all of us, and making time for the writing life is hard.

I am blessed to have the time I am given to write. My challenge is how best to use it.