notes to a younger me 8: surprises

It may surprise you that he puts you in a separate bedroom. He does not want the experience with you to feel like marriage to him — the proverbial “marriage bed.” He wants to have his bed to himself and not cluttered by you. He also wants to impress on you the reality that you are not his wife or girlfriend — you are separate and different and lower, owned and kept. He will use you for sex when he wishes on his terms — taking you in your bed or some other place in the house — but there will be no easy or casual or obligatory sex because you’re both in the same bed every night. He will not want that.

He will likely have his own private locations in the house you are forbidden to access, his man spaces. His master bedroom for one, but perhaps a den or study, and maybe a work space or shed or garage. He will want his spaces to be kept as he wants them, and maybe has reasons for keeping them private, but even if not, he will likely set up such prohibitions just for the purpose of constraining you. In my earlier time as Master Kevin’s slave, I was forbidden to enter his bedroom — I think he took me there just once to have me for sex.

It may surprise you that he has girlfriends. He may go on dates. Perhaps he’ll bring a girlfriend home some night, although then it becomes an issue for him how to explain you. But it does happen. You must remember that while “slave” is a special category of relationship, it doesn’t mean you are “special” to him as a wife or girlfriend or other friend. You are his slave, not more. When you are jealous of other women in his life (and you will be), it suggests you harbor some sense of possession of him, which is inappropriate for you as his slave. I mention this because it was a real issue for me with Master Michael — my first time not the second.

You must remember that he is a master because he is a dominant, alpha male. He is taking you to be his slave and wishes to keep you on the side, not make you the center of his life. He wants to live his life as he always has, just add you in as his latest novelty.

You wanted to be used, right?