There is something in us women that yearns to be respectable, approved of by society and culture. In older times this was wrapped up in the word “proper,” and probably every girl growing up in a novel by Jane Austen and Louisa May Alcott was driven to achieve the reputation of “proper young woman.”
Today we aren’t quite so Victorian in these things and our definitions are a little different, but we girls still grow up with this desire for approval by our social circles, a drive to maintain a good reputation, and a need for respectability.
This is in you. Perhaps it’s just because you were born a woman or because you have grown up this way as a girl. Innate or learned, or both, this is a a natural instinct in you. A bikini strap breaks when you’re on the beach and you quickly cover up, trying to remain, well, “proper” — this is a metaphor for so many of your instinctive behaviors in life.
With this in mind, know your master’s dominant desire is to make you improper.
His pleasure comes from undressing you, humiliating you, and ultimately defiling you.
Your submissiveness longs for this, of course, and yet you are driven to maintain yourself as a “proper young woman.” Submitted to his dominations, you will often find yourself in this tension — obey or strive to maintain respectability.
Know that your master enjoys seeing this struggle in you. He likes that this is hard for you, and he enjoys watching your internal battle, the agony of your choice to submit to him.
Do not be misled by his reprimands regarding your hesitations. He may (rightly) implore you “don’t think but just submit.” Yet it’s not thought but instinct for properness that’s pausing you, and you must not set that aside, for he loves seeing that, despite his corrections. You may need to endure his slapping disciplines in these hesitation moments, but let your gradual relinquishment of propriety play out before him.
In this he is breaking you, and he deeply thrills in doing so. In time you will obey.
And he will make you an improper woman.
When he is done with you, put yourself back together and reclaim yourself as a proper young woman. Climb back into your dignity. He wants to see you that way too — it gives meaning to his power over you that he just previously defiled you, and now you are once more elegant in that vintage shirt dress, having reclaimed your “proper” once again, and still with the endearing ability to blush.
4 thoughts on “notes to a younger me 10: proper young woman”
It is marvelous to read a slave putting this concept into words. There is nothing more exciting than making a smart, strong slavegirl abandon her core values of decency and propriety to endure humiliation and embarrassment. It is exciting when she does so because she needs it, and obeying her owner, being used, is more important to her than avoiding it.
That excitement is enhanced when others are present and she knows it is possible that she may be required to ease the lust her submission has caused, likely orally. That part must not be overdone, however. It must occur just frequently enough to remind her that it is always possible, and that it will always occur again. She must never know when. Another reason for restraint is that owners who are jaded have done themselves no favors.
Yes, reclaiming her propriety is essential. It must be intact the next time her owner desires to destroy it. The loss of her ability to blush would truly be heartbreaking, and devastating to her owner.
Of course, the slavegirl has agreed to all the above when she chose to become a slave. In the end, a deep yearning in both slave and owner has been temporarily assuaged. The slavegirl knows that her owner is constantly dreaming of new ways to humiliate her even more deeply. The beauty is that she still has free will. She can walk away any time she chooses. But she remains kneeling at her owner’s feet. Her owner is aware that crossing the “line” would destroy a thing of beauty, and that truly and deeply knowing the slavegirl’s heart and soul is essential.
Once again, I thank you, slave shae.
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silkenlash, again, thanks for your comments and the generous compliments… I could write a whole post on each of your sentences/paragraphs…. For now, let me say something about this that you wrote:
“That excitement is enhanced when others are present and she knows it is possible that she may be required to ease the lust her submission has caused, likely orally.”
I think this is an interesting idea, of me being responsible for others’ sexual desires for me, their lust in watching me. I will think on that some more… In my slavery experiences so far, I have not yet been put into a social situation where I have been made to be orally available to a number of guests. But it’s interesting you mention it because Amanda has talked about doing this very thing. She sometimes mentions this as something she is planning, a party of sorts, and while I know she says it to me mostly just to humiliate me me by teasing me with it, I think she is actually serious and will make it happen someday… I’m not sure what such a party looks like or how it’s set up, what the rules would be… But as I think about it now in your concept, I would be made accountable for others’ lust for me — an impossible standard — and would have to satisfy them, orally, as anyone felt the need, sort of impromptu as I served drinks and such. Maybe like that… Now I can’t stop thinking about it. More to say… another time…
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Shae, it is the same submission, demanded by the same dominance, as seven cocks for you to suck, waiting outside the bondage room door. The idea is included in what you “signed up for,” and I expect that the excitement that possibility creates in you was a significant portion of your motivation to sign.
When you are dressed as Mistress Amanda requires, and behave as she dictates, while you may be the cause of others’ arousal, you certainly are not responsible for satisfying it. You wouldn’t be even were you dressed and behaving on your own. The idea that you would be smacks of the faux logic behind telling a woman, “Don’t dress ‘that wa’y if you don’t want to be raped.” That dog won’t hunt. However, if Mistress Amanda requires it of you, then you obey or accept the consequences. I would hope you’d choose the former.
I feel sure that, were you to dress and behave conservatively, you would still cause that arousal. Perhaps it is my own imagination and fantasy, but I expect that you are as sexy as the saxophone in “US and Them,” even before your submissiveness increases it exponentially.
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silkenlash, yes to all… as to “what I signed up for,” yes, at the beginning you assume things, extreme things, will be required of you, but no you don’t really imagine them specifically. they still surprise and overwhelm — as seven cocks, for example — when you encounter them… this idea of a slave being responsible for arousing others — I agree that this isn’t and shouldn’t be literally true — I agree with your comment “don’t dress that way…” — but the idea was interesting to me for something (fiction) I’m writing, and how it’s an impossible thing imposed on a slave… your final compliment is so generous, thank you. I’m missing the reference to the sax, Us and them. Give me more context? point me to it?
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