There is something in us women that yearns to be respectable, approved of by society and culture. In older times this was wrapped up in the word “proper,” and probably every girl growing up in a novel by Jane Austen and Louisa May Alcott was driven to achieve the reputation of “proper young woman.”
Today we aren’t quite so Victorian in these things and our definitions are a little different, but we girls still grow up with this desire for approval by our social circles, a drive to maintain a good reputation, and a need for respectability.
This is in you. Perhaps it’s just because you were born a woman or because you have grown up this way as a girl. Innate or learned, or both, this is a a natural instinct in you. A bikini strap breaks when you’re on the beach and you quickly cover up, trying to remain, well, “proper” — this is a metaphor for so many of your instinctive behaviors in life.
With this in mind, know your master’s dominant desire is to make you improper.
His pleasure comes from undressing you, humiliating you, and ultimately defiling you.
Your submissiveness longs for this, of course, and yet you are driven to maintain yourself as a “proper young woman.” Submitted to his dominations, you will often find yourself in this tension — obey or strive to maintain respectability.
Know that your master enjoys seeing this struggle in you. He likes that this is hard for you, and he enjoys watching your internal battle, the agony of your choice to submit to him.
Do not be misled by his reprimands regarding your hesitations. He may (rightly) implore you “don’t think but just submit.” Yet it’s not thought but instinct for properness that’s pausing you, and you must not set that aside, for he loves seeing that, despite his corrections. You may need to endure his slapping disciplines in these hesitation moments, but let your gradual relinquishment of propriety play out before him.
In this he is breaking you, and he deeply thrills in doing so. In time you will obey.
And he will make you an improper woman.
When he is done with you, put yourself back together and reclaim yourself as a proper young woman. Climb back into your dignity. He wants to see you that way too — it gives meaning to his power over you that he just previously defiled you, and now you are once more elegant in that vintage shirt dress, having reclaimed your “proper” once again, and still with the endearing ability to blush.