retreat q and a: 2

It seems I got surprised by the number of questions still coming in. It looks now like there’ll be a total of four Q&A posts. There are a few quite substantial questions requiring longer replies — involving Master McKenna’s philosophy of D/s — that I’ll put in the fourth post. And yet a third post to come featuring more from you all. All great questions and I’m eager to reply, but this may take another day or two.

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Where did you stay during the retreat? At the mansion? Did others stay at the mansion too? If you stayed there overnight, did you ever feel vulnerable to those that were there? (from Kevin, though not “The Kevin,” but another Kevin, an email acquaintance)

Yes, I stayed at the mansion the whole time. For me to drive back and forth each day was too time-consuming. Also, both Master and Mistress felt it was better for me to have the immersive experience of staying there nights. Immersive it was.

As many bedrooms as the mansion has, there were more people in the non-profit group than could be housed there. So they split up and about half of them stayed at a nearby hotel.

As for the lifestyle group, the five dominants stayed at the mansion. Upstairs, besides my bedroom suite, there were four other bedrooms. One of the men took a downstairs guest bedroom.

No, I didn’t feel vulnerable to anyone while I was there. Master McKenna had made it clear to them that I was not to be played with. They respected my place as his property. After sessions in the evening, I retired to my bedroom suite, and no one ever knocked on my door late or tried to come in.

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Regarding Master McKenna’s statement, “Always remember she is my slave” — you are actually Mistress Amanda’s property. Should McKenna have said this differently? (Multiple people asked this)

This was actually discussed by Amanda and Master McKenna beforehand, and they agreed it was best to present me to the men as owned by him. They felt it had to be clear to the dominants that Master McKenna was in full possession of me.

Even so, the men understood that my primary ownership was with Amanda. In fact, this was addressed in the interview session with her, which I haven’t been able to share on my blog as yet. They knew the actual background of this: that I am owned by Amanda, provided to Master McKenna.

I think, from their point of view, the technicalities of my ownership didn’t matter much. I was a real slave in their midst, half the time bare-breasted before them. They probably didn’t care much beyond that.

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Did Master McKenna ever have sex with you (at night) during the retreat? (College friend Jeremy)

(Jeremy, I think you’re having too much fun asking me this…) No, he did not. I think he chose not to primarily because of the late night sessions and early morning prep for us both. I needed the sleep each night, and I presume he did too.

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I am curious about Amanda putting her arm around you….was it to comfort you, or to signal to everyone that you belonged to her? (Nora)

This was after the “walking” demonstration out front with me on a leash, topless…

Yes, it was a signal of comfort, sort of her saying to me, “You’re doing good.” That meant a lot to me in the moment, because the experience of being in that situation half exposed with all those dominant men was overwhelming. I was handling it, but it was a lot of objectification to deal with.

There was also in it a sense that Amanda, being a woman, knew what I was going through as a woman in the midst of men, and appreciated my fortitude in it as well as my obedience.

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Did anyone touch your breasts when you were topless? (Chris)

Yes. I can’t recall if I wrote this in my posts — I think I did. Maybe not. There was a brief exercise when Master McKenna had me standing topless, my wrists shackled behind my back.

He spoke about how a master’s physical handling of a slave’s breasts was a form of communication. It contributed to her objectification, he explained, and her release of herself to him. It suggested he, the dom, had access to her breasts while she did not. They were a visible part of her body available to him and not her. It was all symbolic of her sexual submission.

“Different forms of handling her breasts,” he said, “can signal different things. Your pleasure or displeasure, her place as an object, her vulnerability.” He spoke about my breasts being kind of a “rudder by which to steer the ship.” (Besides that statement being quite objectifying, it also seems an odd analogy. Am I a cruise ship?)

Master McKenna then had each of the men step up to me and “handle” my breasts in a kind of practice of the principles of his lesson. So I had a lot of “hands on deck,” so to continue the forced analogy.

Now, this was very brief — all of just ten minutes, perhaps — it all happened in a flash. But, yes, they each had some time handling, fondling, squeezing my breasts. It was very objectifying, of course, but by that time the whole retreat had been so, and maybe I was a little numb to it.

It occurred to me this might have been Master’s concession to the men wanting/needing physical interaction with me. I suppose it would have been odd for a dominant to be in a retreat like this with a slave girl and never have the chance to actually touch her.

In fact, even with this I think they expected more interaction with me than they got.