The other night Amanda mentioned there were three goals she had for me a year and a half ago: (1) making my slavery more public. (2) wooing the neighborhood to accept my slavery. (3) sharing my slavery with others. I had known these were in her thinking, though I don’t recall her talking about them so specifically and intentionally as this, like a list of annual corporate targets.
The COVID lockdown hampered her progress with me. She was saying that now, in mid-2021, she has finally gotten to the point of fulfillment of the three, progress she’d hoped to get to by the end of 2020. She feels this is a failure of sorts. But as she talked it out, she came to accept that it’s simply a six-month delay for her goal-setting, and that COVID was the culprit.
Of the three, the first one — making me more public in my slavery — has been the most diminished. Because of the lockdown, experiences in public places have been few and far between. But most everything here is open again, and yet Amanda hasn’t really taken me out for a good public park exposure. I don’t know why. Work, time, opportunity, most likely.
Still, she now quite often has me in partial undress when we’re out and about in the car. I am kept partly naked around the house almost all the time, even when the random visitor stops in. And we have our walks up on the ridge in back as well as the front road. My exposure to others has become more and more common — which is not to say it has become old hat. I still feel exposed and properly humiliated in it.
Her second goal — wooing the neighborhood — has been almost fully realized. The tea times have worked well. We have one more in a couple of weeks, and that may be the more difficult of the five, but so far there’s been a lot of acceptance of me around the block. She is pleased with this.
Her third goal of sharing my slavery with others has also largely been realized. I’ve observed that she talks about this in two ways — “sharing my slavery” and “sharing me.” I discovered these are different in her mind.
“Sharing my slavery” is about bringing others into my slave life and training, but not specifically for sexual pleasure. For example, she has been “sharing my slavery” with John and Patricia Miller, meaning that she has incorporated them into my slave life and practice. To Amanda’s mind, giving me to Master McKenna, even though it is sexual, is for the primary purpose of my slavery and training, so it fits in this category.
“Sharing me” is about giving me to others specifically for their sexual pleasure. This, I believe, is Amanda’s future intent for me, perhaps a singular goal for 2022. Of course, Kevin falls into this category, although he is so familiar to me, it isn’t quite like what she imagines.
I have all kinds of feelings about this… for another time.
It was a brief but interesting conversation. Amanda has a way of revealing and concealing at the same time. It’s her way. I suppose in a more exacting and strict slavery, I would be told nothing ever. So I’m grateful for what she does tell me. Yet it’s this last part — sharing me sexually — that she is less forthright about. Maybe she doesn’t know yet how to execute that.
In our days and weeks together, as we are out and about now, she observes someone randomly and says, “I’d like to see you with him sometime” or “I could see you and her together sometime.” This is not her version of matchmaking. She means it literally, sexually, randomly, with an emphasis on her watching. That is her kink. One of them.