retreat q and a: 4

I so appreciate all the questions sent my way. This will be my final Q&A post on the retreat.

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Did you tell them about your blog? Do you have five new dominant readers? (Mister Archie)

The five men were given my blog info at the end of the retreat. I have no indication that they’ve become new followers. I wouldn’t know if they’re reading this. I guess we’ll see if they are out there, and if one or another speaks up here sometime.

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What is the marital/relationship status of the five men? (Chris)

All I know is from what I overheard in casual conversation. One of the men is married but separated. Another is “dating someone.” The others I don’t know about.

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I am curious what Master McKenna had to say on discipline and punishment, what his philosophy on this is. From your posts (in general, not just from this long weekend) I wasn’t clear if he employed corporal punishment with you. (Nora)

Nora, this is a rich question, and I think I shall write more on it in a separate blog post. But a few answers to your question here:

No, Master McKenna has not had opportunity to punish me (and I am not inclined to make it necessary!) However, he has used a flogger and whip on me in one training session as demonstration and testing (not during the retreat but privately).

At the retreat, he was keen on steering the men away from the common stereotype of D/s being all about whips and floggers and bondage discipline. He also stressed that “responsible dominance is not abusive…”

However, he does believe in physical, corporal punishment practices. He says that physical discipline is effective with a submissive and creates a particular (and good) dependency of the slave to her master.

He also said that it’s fair if the dominant simply enjoys the physical administration of whipping, and that his slave should be able to submit to it for his pleasure — “just as he uses her to give him a blowjob.” But, he said to the men, it’s “critically important you separate your pleasure from her punishment.”

This is interesting to me as Amanda’s approach with me is so very different. Again, much more to say, and I promise to get into it another time.

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Did Master McKenna talk about doing D/s in public. Public play? (Amanda’s lifestyle friend, Dayna)

Master McKenna spoke about “being public” in a different way: how far a dominant wishes to go in himself being open about his D/s life in public circles. He talked about the various parts of his own life in public, at work, with other organizations — and how he has different levels of openness with each of them about his lifestyle. (I think this was in the session where he talked about my protocols in different situations.)

Amanda also talked for a time about her public practices with me. She made the point that public display was good for the slave to experience, but also that it took “wisdom and discretion” to execute public scenes safely and responsibly. Something like that.

I remember there was a moment when she said, “Vanilla people don’t necessarily want to see your slave half naked and on a leash.” And one of the men said, “I don’t see why not!” Hearty laughter all around… and blushing by me…

Again, this bears further discussion, as Amanda and Mr. McKenna both have views on public display that deserve more time. I will write more…

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The four protocols, can you say more about each of them? Maybe more detail? (Nudo and others)

Here again, I promise to address this further in a forthcoming post, but I’ll say a few things here:

Master McKenna is strong on protocols, whereas Amanda is not. He has layers of social interaction related to his businesses, each layer knowing him in slightly different ways. Protocols are critical for him.

I believe it’s one reason he wanted me. He felt I would be able to navigate his protocols smoothly in various social situations.

As I’ve written before, Amanda and I have various modes of relationship, and we slip in and out of them intuitively. There is a formal protocol I use when I’m in deeper submission to her. Then there are situations we’re in around other people in which I modulate the formality with her according to the social situation. (This may have been what Master McKenna observed.)

All the same, Amanda isn’t a stickler for protocols as Master McKenna is. (She’s perfectly happy if I just call her “goddess” sometimes.)

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In the aftermath of the retreat what were your own takeaways? Is there anything that was especially new to you? (Neighbor John Miller)

Oh, wise one, Mr. Miller — posing the big-picture question at the end!

Mostly I’m just filled with various “thoughts to be explored later.”

One is this idea of a slave girl shared by multiple dominants. Which is not to say that I wish (or think I could handle) being shared with a third dominant. It’s more that, if Master McKenna were not in the picture, maybe another dominant would be. I don’t know if Amanda has that intention for me going forward.

Being in the midst of other dominant men at the retreat is/was a reminder to me of my basic submissive being and status. It sort of put me in my submissive place. My training at the hand of Master McKenna has done this too. My slavery to Amanda is a benevolent one, and while I am her slave in real ways, we have a larger relationship. The retreat brought me into an experience of being objectified and treated at a lower level than I’m used to. This is probably good for me.

Also, being in the midst of five dominant personalities (so much testosterone!), I encountered different kinds of male personalities. Still sorting that out. But it made me wonder how D/s works for better or worse with different personality matches. Or mismatches.

Finally, I guess every experience in my slave life stretches me in a new way, and this certainly did.