This is probably something I shall post in my “Notes to a Younger Me” series, as it’s worth mentioning in the context of subs and slaves in early D/s relationships.
When I write about this “new phase” of my slavery, it is not to suggest Mistress has crossed any boundary or limit with me, or plans to take me where I cannot go.
I don’t remember any time in my slavery to her when I gave her a list of my limits and boundaries. And while we’ve had many casual conversations when she has asked me “how do you feel about…” this or that, or “what if…” something were to happen, we have never had formal negotiations about things.
Instead, in living together as mistress and slave we have intuitively come to know what each of us needs, wants, and can’t do. She knows I have a strong reaction to being abandoned. That isn’t a negotiated restriction on her, but she is aware and is careful about that in certain things with me. I know Mistress Amanda has an aversion to physical discipline of me. I would like more of that, actually, but it’s not in her repertoire. That’s OK. These and many others are things we know and observe but have never formally negotiated.
(Please hear me — I am not suggesting that negotiations and lists of limits are wrong. I often advocate for them. They just haven’t been our way of doing slavery.)
This “new phase” of life under Mistress A is an intersection of our intuitive knowledge about each other. She knows that my being sexually presented in public is something I shy away from. She also knows it thrills and fulfills me submissively when she requires it of me. And I know this is the aspect of dominance that is her longing and fulfillment as a dominant. I’ve always known it was going here. And that’s always been okay.
This was never a boundary here for me. There’s no “limits list” where any of this appears. The map of my slavery to her is big and sprawling. This “new phase” is our exploration of a new part of the map.
Just as she was the one to move us across the state into this house, she is moving us into a new D/s territory.
I will follow her there. Probably on a leash.