notes to a younger me 18: the one you want

Early in my first slavery, I was taken to a lifestyle party by my owner, Master Michael.

It was, as I recall, a patio party in the summer and relatively tame — that is, submissives were in collars and sometimes on leashes, but we weren’t in leather and the party wasn’t BDSM-forward. And, people kept their clothes on.

At the time I was in my first months of slavery to Master Michael, and at this event, I basically followed him around, talking with people when spoken to, being rather overwhelmed, and doing what I do best, being submissive.

People chattered about their D/s lives and practices — bondage and discipline, trends and practices in the lifestyle, who was with who, and so on.

A man engaged us in conversation. It seemed he and Master were friends of some sort, though I didn’t get the impression they were close. And when I say he engaged “us” in conversation, I mean he talked with Master about dom things in front of me, the third party — a common practice among doms here. I remained silent as I was supposed to.

Eventually this man got to talking about a particular practice he was interested in. What this was isn’t important and isn’t the point of what happened, as you’ll see. But I’ll tell you that he was fascinated by the practice of branding — applying a hot-iron brand to a slave’s flesh, just as is done with cattle.

In fact, this wasn’t offensive to me per se, although it was unsettling to think about. It was something Master and I had never discussed.

The man did not currently own a submissive, but he said he would like to do this sometime “when he got one.” And he went on, a bit too forwardly, to include me, saying to my master, “I wonder how your slave here would submit to that.”

It was a baiting comment. Some doms might step into their ego and pride and say something about how their slave was fully trained and completely submissive and could handle that.

But I’ll never forget what Master Michael said. He looked at the man, pausing a moment, and finally saying, “I would never do that to my slave Shae.”


Again, the point here is not the specific practice of branding. It could have been something else more benign, even something I wished might be done to me. What mattered was what Master Michael said.

Master told someone else he had a self-imposed limit in his dominance of me. He “would not go there,” because “he wouldn’t do that to his slave Shae.”

I had already committed my life in slavery to Master Michael, but in that moment I cast another vote for him to be my owner.


If you, dear one, ever find a dominant who says, “I would never do that to her,” immediately hand him your leash.

He’s the one you want.

10 thoughts on “notes to a younger me 18: the one you want

  1. That’s beautiful and safe advice Shae, thank you. This is coming from someone who has branding fantasies but is quite concerned that the finished product won’t be so pretty as I might imagine.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. yeah, me too… I don’t know what that is really about, maybe going through the humiliation of some process where I’m literally being branded like a steer, or the feeling of being so permanently marked by my owner, presumably for life. for some reason it appeals to me submissively… in concept. but if ever it were to be proposed, maybe not so much.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Indeed. All of the things you say. I am, however, interested in having a more general slave tattoo put on my inner thigh, that would be a private and personal reminder of what I feel like at my happiest and truest moments

        Liked by 2 people

  2. Shae, this post made me do my happy dance, so thank you. Matt might joke about branding me, but I know that he wouldn’t, and he most certainly has no interest in it.

    I agree with Master Michael and yourself. Branding is not for us either, and in fact, I don’t even wear a collar. A lot of my submission comes in my behaviour and conduct, rather than in what I wear. It’s almost unseen and unspoken, and really it’s only noticeable when Matt and I are together. Even when we talked about collars and collaring ceremonies, Matt wrote off the idea of a Ceremony of the Roses because he didn’t want to intentionally make me bleed. There are plans for a handmade locking anklet, though that’s a little way off yet.

    Just on a similar topic and an experience of my own herer, I can remember being at an event and a Dom there, we’ll call him Steve (not his real name), was peacocking and talking about how he trains his submissive and telling how he should train me. Not too long after, their relationship suffered a bitter breakdown which resulted in them trying to publicly one-up one another at events while Matt and I were still doing just fine. Sadly I find, those of us who say ‘no’ to such ideas are sometimes actually the ones who make it through in the long run.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Helen, I think for me the idea of being branded is appealing not for the act or ceremony of it, but for the symbolism of what it represents — and even then, not the symbolism between me and my dominant but in the eyes of others, when it would be seen publicly. it represents my submission, enduring an extreme pain, being owned as property like cattle, and so on…

      re “Steve”: unfortunately in the world of dominant people you’ll have your narcissists…

      BTW, what does the word “peacocking” mean? I can guess, but I’m not familiar with it as you used it…

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      1. To each their own Shae. I’ve thought about a collar before but I’m not sure. Mostly, I find anything around my neck tends to get caught in my hair, and Matt likes my hair, so it was an unfortunate compromise.

        Ooh you do. You was definitely one such example.

        “Peacocking” means strutting around and showing off for attention, typically female. Think about how a peacock puts on a display for the attention of a peahen, now you’ll know when you see it in in Dominant men 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Years ago I happened across a video of a sub being branded by her Dom. Other than watching the act itself, there was no context, no explanation of why or the emotions involved in the lead-up to it. Admittedly, I was quite intrigued by the idea, but moreso by the psychology involved than the actual act itself.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Dave, I agree, it’s the meaning of the symbolism, as I said above to Helen, that makes it interesting to me. and in that, I think it’s the psychology, as you point out, underlying it that is compelling to observe. And again, for me it’s not the actual experience, but the feeling of *having been branded* that would affect me.

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