the “Ma’am” experiment

It lasted one day.

To be clear, my point was a specific situation in the vanilla public, one that happens all the time. In many public instances it becomes awkward for my dominant to be addressed by me as “Master” or “Mistress.” People don’t know what to do with it.

In those contexts Master McKenna wishes me to address him as “Sir” instead. It’s an accepted term in the vanilla business world from an assistant to her boss, yet serves the dual purpose of also being my submissive acknowledgment of his dominance over me. This is true in some of his board meetings — indeed at the retreat with the “nonprofit” group — where my reference to him as “Master” would be jarring and awkward in front of people who don’t know. “Sir” is a more agile term.

Likewise with Amanda, so I thought, in business meetings with her vanilla clients. If I were to address her then as “Mistress,” it would be confusing to people, perhaps bringing our personal life into the air in ways that are off-putting. So, my equivalent solution, what I proposed, was to address her as “Ma’am.”

Well, many of you have pointed out that “Sir” and “Ma’am” are not equivalent terms — that “Ma’am” has the connotation of an older woman. I know the connotation is there. Indeed this has been a discussion for me and Amanda before. This is not our first rodeo to lasso this term.

This morning as I held the coffee tray, Amanda poured her dollop of milk into her mug, looked at me, and said, “Let’s not do the “ma’am” thing, after all. I changed my mind.”

I nodded.

“Your thoughts?”

I explained my rationale as I just did above. “But I understand. Others agree with you. But in those vanilla situations, then what should I call you?”

“‘Goddess, ruler of my life’ should do it,” she joked.

I shook my head at her. “Seriously.”

“‘Amanda’ works just fine.”

Experiment ended.

6 thoughts on “the “Ma’am” experiment

  1. Being around military, female leadership tends to get “ma’am” as the “sir” equivalent since Madam, Mistress, or Dame would really raise eyebrows. Knew one person that used yo say ‘sir’ to a female officer, which was a whole other mess. 🤦‍♂️

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I see your reasoning but I have to agree with Amanda, she is far to beautiful for ma’am, I tried to search for alternatives but all i found was “milady” which would probably get you even more funny looks lol. I vote for “Mistress,” who cares what others think, besides she would probably enjoy seeing your embarrassment and submission when every you have to say it around people.

    Liked by 2 people

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