the quality of her presence

I saw a video not long ago that featured a submissive woman and her dominatrix. I was struck by the submissive’s simple way of being with her owner.

Just standing there she had a kind of presence, an elusive something, which fascinated me. Our shorthand for such a thing is “submissiveness,” which it was in her, but that’s often just a generic term, like calling a Rembrandt a “pretty drawing.” All of her was submissive, for sure, but there were qualities within that which I felt compelling and beautiful.

As she stood naked before her owner, delicate and lithe with small yearning breasts, she was quiet but not timid, speaking only when spoken to but answering her mistress’s questions readily. She seemed to anticipate what would be done to her yet was not assuming anything specific. She did not know when her next hours would require, yet she stood in brimming expectation of the adventure.

I think of the term “recessive gene,” the biological element that sits behind the dominant gene. Likewise, this submissive woman was recessive, standing to the side of her domme, slightly back, almost like her owner’s shadow. This slave seemed to exist between the world and her domme — sort of like those optical illusions where you look at a picture and another image lies within it if you look hard enough. Perhaps she feels this literally, her presence between the radical life her mistress draws her into and the world out there that judges her naked submission.

We all feel that.

Oddly, perhaps, the woman’s manner of presence brought to my mind the word “absorbent.”

She tacitly stood, receptive to all that would be done to her, whatever would be applied to her flesh. She would absorb it all, from floggers to semen, and more than take it on her, she’d receive it into her like a foam sponge. It all would seep in, would ooze into her flesh and mind, and would be transformed. In a kind of submissive alchemy, the thudding pain of the flogger converted into gratitude, the demeaning stripes of violent cum transformed into her own submissive and nurturing estrogen.

As she stands so receptive and absorbent, a quiet catalyst for changing her world, she is breathtaking.

It was a quality of presence. The woman did very little, but just was, standing submissively, not performing but just being — being submissive and recessive and absorbent.

She mesmerized me.

I wondered if I needed to find that quality of presence for myself, if this is who I need to be for Master McKenna. Maybe this is what he is training me to be.

This woman was authentic, just being herself. I know I must likewise be myself in my submission. I cannot be exactly like her. But what is my best version of the quality of submissive presence she had?

I am generally appreciated for my words, sometimes my wit and humor. But if I am standing silently, submissive and recessive and absorbent, how can these be expressed? I don’t know. My owners have said of me in various ways that I convey a sense of knowing fully what is being done to me, that I am aware of my own sacrifice in submitting to dominance. Perhaps that’s something. I don’t know.

As I am with Master McKenna this week, standing submissively before him, I will remember this woman, her beautiful, recessive being, and the quality of her submissive presence.

6 thoughts on “the quality of her presence

  1. You cannot stand outside yourself to judge your demeanor when you are in that slavegirl’s situation. Thus, you cannot know that you do not have the same, or a similar, “aura,” or even a better one of your own. I expect that you have much of the same quality as that girl.
    In one of your posts of advice to a younger shey, you told her to be present when she is being used, and not to hide in a corner of her mind until it was over. That is absorbing the flogger and the semen. I expect that produces in you much of what you admire in that girl. If she observed you in that situation, she would find much to admire, as well. I imagine that girl has her meltdowns and her bag clamp moments just as you do. That denotes spirit, feeling, and emotion, without which any girl would be a very boring slave.
    It is good that you observe, compare, and continuously strive to be a better slavegirl. Improvement in any discipline is always desirable, but do not overthink it.
    I would put my money on you, the other girl sight unseen, but it is not a competition.
    Is that video online and, if so, can you provide a link to it?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. thank you, sir, as always, for your wisdom. and encouragements… I don’t know that I have the same quality as her, but I have my own personality, I know. I just would like more of her presence in me…

      no, I don’t have the link. I’m not sure where I saw it.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. this is fascinating. I can imagine exactly what she conveys. I think on my own journey that I am not recessive in the sense which you describe, but instead have chosen to cultivate and encourage Her dominance…and in turn, she cultivates my submission, but as an expression of strength. And I find my way into that apparent contradiction through the benchmark of selfless love, the expression of which requires sublimation of self…which at its essence is submission.


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