cookie on a plate

I’ve been feeling somewhat better the past few days, but that’s just relatively speaking — I am far from being well. Still, it’s encouraging.

Amanda admits she’s not a good caretaker, and she doesn’t dote on me. But yesterday after I took a long nap in the afternoon, she came into my bedroom with a cookie on a plate. She said, “I didn’t make it, of course, but I opened the package all by myself.” I laughed. You could never find two women in the same house so totally helpless in the kitchen.

No, she doesn’t dote on me, and she’s not one to make the chicken noodle soup, but she’s been super nonetheless.

It’s been obvious she cannot expect me to perform my slavery to her these days, and she hasn’t required anything of me. Her greater challenge is making me feel I have some value even without being able to do anything submissive.

My adage that a slave “is not what you do but what you are” is being tested. Apparently, doing submissive things is the outward evidence of what you are.


But Amanda has been present with me more often during this time, sometimes taking her work from her home office and doing it in the living room where I’m dozing on the couch. Being in the room with me is pretty much the most anyone can really do, other than the occasional cookie on a plate. It’s such a little thing, and yet it means a lot to me.

So we do a lot of talking these days, seeing that I’m really not useful for much of anything else. We sit across from each other on the couch as usual, but without the usual drippy anticipation of what she could do to me at any moment.

But the conversation is good, even if it isn’t accompanied by my servitude.


Master McKenna stopped by this morning. He said he had business to discuss with Amanda, and, yes, they talked for a while in her office, but I suspect he could have accomplished the same by phone. He came to see me, which was lovely.

I apologized to him for my absence, and he said it was fine, that the only important thing is for me to get better. Then he added with a straight face but twinkly eyes, “Of course you’ll be making up for it in January.”

“I’ll be eager and willing to do so, sir.”

2 thoughts on “cookie on a plate

  1. Beautiful. M. KcKenna is correct. Your job is to get well. While you are ill, your only other job is to be owned, mind, body, and soul. And, indeed, you are living up to that assignment.
    Do not worry.
    Be well.

    Liked by 5 people

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