q and a 1: living the slave life

First of several q & a posts…

My responses, of course, describe my normal slave life, not my life in my current illness and recovery…

Some questions I’ve answered before, but new followers are asking and interested. Still, there are some brand new questions as well, so I hope there’s something of interest for everyone.


What do most people misunderstand about the kind of submissive lifestyle you and Amanda live? (CVH)

That for D/s to work well day after day there has to be a base of normalcy to it. Amanda and I are women in a relationship, and while it’s alternative and extreme in its way, we must still live successfully together in the real world. Not every moment can be a BDSM moment.

While we live as mistress and slave, we still have to do the things everyone has to do: clean house, eat meals, take out trash, take care of the yard, do financial things, and live some life responsibly in public. Amanda needs/wants to work and develop her business. I have aspirations to be a writer. The two of us have to get along in a life together.

Yes, even in these ordinary doings, our life together is infused with my submission and her dominance of me. Every day, I wear the clothes she chooses for me. I’m almost always in a slave collar. More often than not, I wear high heels. My life is controlled by her, even in the day-to-day. But a lot of the time of our lives don’t involve overt or extreme dom-sub practices. Those happen, and I report them here, but to survive in such a life long-term, there has to be ordinary time as well.


During a typical day, what do you do? What’s your schedule? (deanne)

I wake at around five-thirty. Shower and prep (see my answer to a question below). I dress in the outfit Amanda has laid out for me.

I make coffee and stand for Amanda with a coffee tray outside the kitchen at 7:15. This is one of my service rituals. She may not come out of her bedroom for some time, but I stand there waiting.

Coffee and perhaps some morning conversation until about 8:00.

She then goes into her home office. I usually then go into a writing time. Mornings are my most creative time, and I try to align that with Amanda’s work time.

This much, until noon, is mostly the same each day.

Afternoons are different each day. She will emerge from her home office between noon and one. We may do lunch together or not, as she wishes. Sometimes she walks me outside on a leash.

I am a sex slave but have a few chores like a service slave. On Tuesdays, I scrub the kitchen floor. On Wednesdays, I tidy up around the house, run the vacuum. On Thursday I do our laundry.

In between chores I often spend reading or exercising or practicing my submissive etiquette. Around four-thirty, I repeat my routine of shower, hygiene, personal prep — a refresh.

Around five-thirty Amanda finishes her work day (although she will work sometimes in the evenings but on the couch with me). She leaves her office study, and I stand bearing a tray of wine and glasses for happy hour — out other ritual.

We then sit on the couch talking. We may grab something from the fridge for dinner.

Evenings, she may walk me around the neighborhood again. That often leads to her dominant use of me back at the house — strapping me into the wet bar, or, well, doing other things to me.

We don’t usually sleep together — separate bedrooms — but she will sometimes invites me into her bed.

Weekends are different, of course.


When someone comes to your front door, who answers? If on some day Amanda has you in a state of partial nudity, do you still answer the door? (JK)

Interesting question.

We rarely get people coming to our front door. Our house has a long driveway to the front road, so is set back and isn’t likely to be casually approached by sales people and the like. However, now that we are friendsies with neighbors, some of them are more likely to walk up and knock at the door (we welcome that).

Anyway, that said, to answer your question, during a typical day, I am most likely to answer the door. Amanda is working in her home office at the back of the house and shouldn’t be interrupted by such things.

It used to be that if I were, say, made to be topless on a particular day, and someone came to the door, I’d put on a wrap before answering. Now that our neighbors are in the know about me and they are the ones mostly likely to come to the front door, Amanda wishes me to answer the door in whatever state I am.

But again, this happens infrequently. Occasionally there is a postal delivery that has to be signed for. And now, a neighbor, perhaps. But it’s pretty rare.

One of Amanda’s diabolical wishes is that some day Jehovah’s Witnesses will come a-knocking. That would be interesting.


On a daily basis, what’s expected of you in terms of your appearance? Do you have a “beauty” routine? (jiselle)

It’s different for different types of slavery, but as a sex slave, I am required to be as attractive as I can manage to be at virtually every moment. I am always to be “presentable,” though Amanda enjoys putting it this way: “You have to look fuckable, Shae.” Either way, it means I always am to be clean and fragrant and, well, somehow “appealing.”

While my owners want me always to be lovely and presentable, they don’t want a slave who spends hours in front of a vanity. Somehow I am to make myself “beautiful” without taking any time to do it. More to the point —without them knowing when I’m doing it.

So, I have a routines for this. I go through these twice a day (most days), in the morning and then again late afternoon. I get up early in the morning, before Amanda awakens, usually around five-thirty. I shower, do my makeup and hair and and dress in about an hour or so. My afternoon refresh is a condensed half-hour version of the morning routine.

In our climate and altitude, I have to moisturize all the time. I use an SPF lotion by Cerave. I don’t wear much makeup during the days, but I apply a little mascara on my lashes, and maybe a touch of concealer. Amanda likes me in lipstick, so there’s that. My hair tends to take the most time. Every third day, this includes shaving myself (everywhere).

Some time-consuming parts of my toilette I do during afternoons when Amanda is working: washing my hair, doing my nails, and sometimes a careful pussy shave.

I don’t wear heavy perfume but I do spritz myself with a lighter fragrance — eau de toilette or eau fraiche. And I use a wide assortment of fragrances. I find that other people like the variety of scents on me.


Does it ever bother you to have to present yourself constantly as a sex object? (tess)

Well, no and yes.

If you’re a sex slave and are offended by being sexually objectified, then you need to find another line of work. D/s is my chosen lifestyle, and I have embraced my designated form of service as a sex slave, so I take it in stride that my life is about being presented sexually, and I accept the looks and stares and talk. In this, I actually enjoy being pleasure to others.

But, yes, the constant routine of preparing myself to appear attractive and appealing gets tiring. And while I “feel sexual” much of the time in my life, there are occasions when I’m not so inclined — but I must submit to it anyway, and do.

Amanda usually declares one day every few weeks as a “free” day for both of us, a day when I don’t have to present or prep. I can slack off and be a little more ragged. Which is lovely.


What do you miss about vanilla life? (Edward)

I find that what’s difficult in slavery isn’t so much obeying things I’m required to do but not having the freedom to just go and do something on my own. I miss the impulsiveness allowed in vanilla life.

Sometimes I feel I need to get away for a few hours. In corporate world this might be akin to a “mental health day.” Amanda understands this and will usually grant me the time away. But I need to ask, and she sometimes has other things she wishes me to do instead.

Once every so often she’s going to be away for the day, and she tells me that I can do whatever I want. “Just try to stay off your knees,” she needles. Nice.


Do you think you could go back to vanilla life if you had to? (Edward)

No. But one does anything if they have to. The one real scenario I am mindful of is some situation in which I might need to go to live with and care for my mother. In such a case I would have to leave my slave life completely and live vanilla.

Otherwise, besides the fact that my joy and fulfillment come from being a slave in a D/s lifestyle, there is the practical problem that I have been trained into a whole matrix of slave behaviors and responses that don’t fit vanilla life. My slave life has conditioned me to be sexual in particular ways, and it makes me more susceptible to dominance in random forms. I fear that in vanilla life this would likely be dangerous for me.

2 thoughts on “q and a 1: living the slave life

  1. Wonderful post, shae! I really enjoyed reading your answers, and it was intriguing to me to see the types of questions that your readers have for you as they differ greatly from the questions that I often receive (which largely have to do with balancing my marriage and my D/s life). Thank you for sharing 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. thanks, nora. we’re in different types of relationships, so I suppose the questions are different because of that. I find your alternative marriage, your relationship to your Daddy and your Sir, to be most fascinating and exciting…

      Like

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