I’ve been thinking on how various D/s relationships are, say, focused on a specific aspect of D/s. For example, some who practice the D/s lifestyle focus a lot on bondage while others hardly ever engage in bondage.
I would think most D/s arrangements at least dabble in a variety of D/s experiences, but it seems to me that often one thing becomes a primary focus/style/preference/orientation.
I started listing some of these. Which is primary for you? What have I missed in this list?
Obedience-focused. The relationship is primarily based on the dominant giving orders and the submissive obeying them. These may be minor, simple. The pleasure dynamic is in the act of obedience.
Behavior-focused. A submissive is trained to behave a certain way. This may be as basic as a trained posture, or how to sit/stand/walk, or manners of speaking. The primary dynamic in the relationship is the dominant’s shaping of a submissive’s physical bearing and actions and presentation.
Service-focused. The relationship has primarily been defined in terms of work and chores and services. I assume here that the dominant finds particular pleasure in being served, and the submissive enjoys the constant requirement of being busy with services.
Humiliation-focused. The primary focus of the D/s relationship is in debasement of the submissive. This may be physical but can also/otherwise be psychological. It may be private and/or public display of submission.
Bondage-focused. The D/s relationship is enjoyed primarily in forms of bondage and restriction and perhaps imprisonment. Ropes and chains, say, have a particular erotic meaning and feeling.
Punishment/pain focused. The D/s is most deeply experienced through acts of punishment and, perhaps, the administering of pain. May or may not be about sadomasochism per se — sometimes its about the psychological experience of being punished.
Sex-focused. Where the D/s relationship is primarily focused on the submissive’s sexual use and random availability. This may be about being shared sexually. It also can be about the dom creating a sexual mindset in the submissive.
I ask for your input. What have I missed?
Again, I think most D/s relationships practice a number of these. Some of them overlap. But my hypothesis is that one is a primary focus.
I also wonder if besides a primary focus there’s a secondary focus. For example, the primary of my D/s slavery is a sex-focus, but a strong runner-up, so to speak, is a humiliation-focus.
What about you? What’s the primary and secondary in your current relationship?
If you’re not in a current relationship: As a dominant, what would you say would be your most desired primary focus if you owned a submissive? As a submissive, what would you say would be your most desired primary focus if you were owned by a dominant?