a difference between my two places

One of the subtle differences between my life here in Pennsylvania and my life in Colorado is that people here (PA) see me as normal, not knowing me as a submissive. Here, when I am introduced to someone, I am simply my mother’s daughter from Colorado.

They may see me wearing a collar, though around mother’s church friends it is usually a fashion choker. They don’t know what that symbolizes. They may detect that I am not wearing a bra, though I’m not flamboyant in that. Such things may strike them as a little off, but they have no knowledge context for categorizing me in a D/s life of submission. Most don’t even know such exists.

Conversely, in Colorado, most anyone I am introduced to has a connection to Amanda — clients, neighbors, service people, her lifestyle friends — and so they know her and usually know of me. Even before I say “Pleased to meet you,” they know I am a submissive living in a D/s relationship under her. Some know more than others — aware that our relationship is executed as D/s slavery — but most at least have a mental script about me before we even meet. There (in CO) I am my mistress’s submissive from Pennsylvania.

You could say that in CO I am labeled and in PA I am not. But in this case, I prefer being labeled, though it still feels cringingly humiliating when Amanda identifies me to someone new as her slave. Even though I blush as I detect the shifting shades of the others’ faces as they reassess me and place me in some compartment of their social judgment, it is who I am and what s true to me.

Here in PA, wearing a choker and no bra, I am not labeled but then again I am not known. I feel a little lost.

I’m not sure there’s much to make of this. It’s simply a difference between my two places.

8 thoughts on “a difference between my two places

  1. In PA, except for when Amanda visits, you are not in the presence of a dominant partner which must also factor into the equation of not being known as a submissive. Conversely, in CO and in Amanda’s presence, I’m assuming a person who doesn’t know your reality can still see how the two of you interact and draw certain conclusions. Wouldn’t you agree?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes, but Amanda hasn’t been out here so much as to interact with a lot of people that I sometimes am around. Mostly church people who are part of Mother’s orbit. In fact, while between Amanda and I there is rarely any “discretion” publicly, here in regard to Mom’s church world, we have to be somewhat discreet on a couple of levels.

      Liked by 3 people

  2. I recall in the past you remarking that everyone who knew you knew that you were a slave.
    As I recall, you weren’t sure how happy you were about that.
    Now that’s no longer true. But I gather your feelings about being so known have clarified somewhat.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are correct about that. I suppose if I were back there living immersed in it, I might bemoan this very thing I long for now. (I don’t ever claim to be completely consistent! 🙂) But this PA time does give me a different perspective. It’s just strange for my true self to be unknown by others…. As always, Mister Archie, an observant comment.

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      1. You could simply tell the people you meet in PA what you really are. “Here’s a link to my blog…” and hand them a card.
        A cross-fitter, a vegan, and a keto dieter all go into a bar. How do we know? They tell us!
        You could be like that.
        It’s possible I shouldn’t be commenting on blogs after this much Scotch tonight.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. i certainly understand how you identify in PA and CO. it’s hard to balance who we are with how we have to be in certain situations. i.e. in Church with your Mom’s friends vs being on display in the window. I spent alot of time with my Mother as She was ailing in a nursing home and in today’s world wish i could have been more forthright about who i really am. although , i highly believe She intrinsically knew. You have a unique opportunity. That Mistress Amanda is allowing you to have. Enjoy the difference and the times. You are very self aware and have a wonderful way of commuicating thru words. Continue to be You always.

    Liked by 1 person

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