school for submissives

There are a few threads of things I wish to write out before I go home. This may not be of interest to everyone, but it may come up later when I’m serving Master McKenna again.

Some time ago, he charged me with the task of developing a curriculum for his wished-for “school for submissives.” In the background of everything out here in PA, I’ve been working on that.

I am somewhat dubious of the school idea in the first place, at least in the formal sense that Master M envisions. He thinks of it as an academy with women signing up to learn the arts and sciences of the slave life. I just don’t believe there are (a) many women who are (or know they are) deeply submissive and (b) know what true submissiveness is and (c) want to enroll in school for it.

I do believe that quite a few women are curious about the BDSM lifestyle, evidenced by the popularity of Fifty Shades. And I believe many people’s lives would be enhanced by exploring their inner submissiveness.

My approach would be to create an upscale social event, perhaps a high tea, with the theme “An Afternoon with a ‘Fifty Shades’ Lifestyle Submissive,” featuring a “talk” by yours truly. Master M’s mansion would provide the perfectly elegant setting, the Great Room an impressive venue for such an event. I can imagine vanilla-life women who are lifestyle-curious finding such an event to be a attractive, intriguingly kinky, thing to do.

My thought is to use this social event/lecture to introduce the possibility of something more — a short-course series of sessions in D/s practices. That would be Master M’s “academy.”

We’d do several of the social teas, each one yielding, perhaps, a few women who wish to go on to do further sessions.

Maybe it’s from my immersion in vanilla life this past year, but I just don’t think most people see the world in dom/sub terms as we do. Most don’t see submissiveness as a “thing.” The draw needs to be something entertaining, something that offers the promise of enhancing current relationships in partnerships and marriages, sort of “how to bring D/s kink into the bedroom.” In the process, some women might discover a deeper submissiveness in themselves and seek more, a fuller experience in the lifestyle. Perhaps a high tea social would work.

I’ve broached some of this to Master McKenna, and we will be talking about this at length when I’m out there with him.

So far, I just have notes and loose outlines for the curriculum sessions. I won’t bore you with much of it, but perhaps a few points — these from the intro session — would be of interest to you…

I might start with the idea — my belief anyway — that submissiveness and dominance are traits we all have. But we have them to varying degrees. I am extremely submissive, but most people are more mildly inclined, if at all. However, I myself did not know how fully submissive I was until I was nearly thirty. There were signs and experiences of this all my life (I would mention some of these), but I lived without knowing my true submissive nature for such a long time. In the session, I might offer this: “You may be only slightly submissive (or dominant). Anything more than mild curiosity may not be for you. But it’s also possible you may be more substantially submissive and not really know it. Maybe that’s why you’re here — to explore something deep within you…”

I would also talk about the things that dissuade us from consideration of our inner submissive. I would push back on the idea of this being a male-female hierarchy. “There are men who are submissives too. My own dominant is a woman named Amanda.” This has nothing to do with any gender superiority of men over women. It’s not a position against feminism. Some persons are dominant; some persons are submissive… So it would go…

It would be necessary to get into what D/s really is and is not. I would probably address the Fifty Shades phenomenon and mention how whips and collars and ball gags are attractively kinky to us. But we shouldn’t become fixated on the accoutrements. The real experience and meaning of dominance and submission lie in the dynamic of not having control of oneself and the deep desire to become abandoned into another person’s absolute power. “This is the more relational dimension of BDSM, what we call D/s…”

Finally, I would say something aspirational — drawn, perhaps, from my own testimony — how coming to an understanding of my submissiveness has transformed my life, made me into a more authentic person, enriched my life sexually. “Exploring your submissiveness is a way of coming to an honest acceptance of yourself…”

Again, these are just sketchy ideas. But they might be my approach to the introductory session.

I have wondered at times if Master McKenna really intends to create a school for submissives. I could imagine he has concocted this simply as an interesting exercise for his slave girl. The whole thing may go away.

And yet, the idea is so him: I have often referred to his teacherly personality — he is the CEO-professor. He has that educator vibe. It fits the dominant he is.

Some of this preparation will be good for me in tutoring Maria. I am thinking of her as an imagined pupil, sort of, as I put some of this in words. (Which reminds me, note to self, I have to bring everyone up to speed on what’s happening with Maria.)

In any case, I’m working on this curriculum, such as it is, such as it may be or not ever see the light of day.

15 thoughts on “school for submissives

  1. I think we who are submissive will profit from your curriculum, presuming you’re going to continue to share with us, whether or not Master McKenna actually follow through or not. Looking very much forward to hearing more!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Shae, there are so many thoughts here. First, I too was admittedly dubious about Master McKenna’s idea for a slave school, simply because of the varied degree to which we submissives submit. For me personally, my submission fluctuates between deep and yielding some days and feisty on others. I don’t believe I can be ‘taught’ to submit, I believe that submission is something you will or will not want to do based entirely on your relationship with the person in question. I think, truthfully, if somebody introduced themselves to me as Dominant, my response would be “we’ll see”.

    Unfortunately, and with nothing against Master McKenna here, some Dominants (and submissives for that) are quite good at coming up with ideas that aren’t always entirely practical to implement. I know someone likewise who yearns for a harem of slave girls, yet still has only one. I think it’s great that Master McKenna wants to teach and share, but how well it will go? I think, like you say, it may sadly not be quite as he imagined.

    Your idea to introduce D/s on the back of Fifty Shades is great too, though I do know some that would be up in arms at the idea of a high tea social. I don’t think it’s the whole Fifty Shades thing so much as the thought that D/s is only acceptable for the wealthy and the elite. That, I think – and given Master McKenna’s stately home – would be a much more difficult bridge to cross.

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Helen, as always, such good thoughts here… some things I hadn’t considered… I agree that we can’t actually be taught to submit, as you say, for that has to be naturally in us to want/need to. and that goes to some of my reservations about the formal “school” idea in the first place. however, I think there are those who *are*submissive and don’t know it or don’t admit it to themselves as yet, who might need guidance in that. and I think there are submissives who are curious about the life and need to know how it works and if they would fit into it. actually, your beautiful comment here — “For me personally, my submission fluctuates between deep and yielding some days and feisty on others” — would be useful testimony for women exploring the lifestyle for the first time…

      Agreed that it remains to be seen if Master M will follow through on this. I need to make one point clear, though. He does not see this school as a farm team for his own harem (not sure if you were thinking that). If anything, he eventually sees a potential in matching some of the school submissives to his retreat doms, but even that is something he thinks is iffy.

      You bring up a good point about this reeking of a opportunity for just the rich and famous. I hadn’t thought of that. The likely connections we have are through Mistress Amanda’s and Master McKenna’s circles, so there is some of that likely as they are in that tier of people. But neither would wish this to be elitist, so there’s something to think of there… and the “high tea” is just my idea, probably because I’m used to tea times with the neighbors, so I know how to do that. perhaps this needs a different kind of event draw…

      As always, Helen, great thoughts and good ideas…

      BTW, I was sorry to see you’re shutting down one of your blog sites. but I don’t know how you managed to do two in the first place! anyway, here’s a shout out to your website you are now focusing on full time — Kinky with a Twist,

      Liked by 4 people

      1. Shae, thankyou for replying to me and thankyou for understanding where I was coming from with this. I feel like we’ve opened a can of worms here because I’ve put that whole “can submission be taught?” debate to a few people last night/today, and I’ve had some very fascinating (though also very genuine) responses, mostly from Dominants. I’m hoping to address this thought in a post in a few weeks time which I hope will be helpful to you somehow too. I feel like our school of thought on the topic is broadly the same. Pardon the pun, of course 😉
        I do disagree with your thought that fluctuating submission is something only for those just exploring though. I’ve been in the lifestyle for more than 15 years now and a fluctuating, feisty submissive is just who I am. I’m a challenge to conquer and my Dominants, my owners, love that about me.

        Oh no, the thought of a sort of farm never even crossed my mind (though now you’ve put that there, I can’t unthink a sort of breeding farm for Dominants and submissives!). When I mentioned the harem idea it was just that, that sometimes ideas have to stay as that and for whatever reason. It was an example of a Dominant I know who had another idea that hadn’t come to fruition for presumably obvious reasons, that was all. Playing matchmaker I think, and hopefully like Master McKenna realises, would possibly be a dangerous game. Hopefully the Dominants he has taught will do well and be well, but if he forms a pairing and it all goes wrong, well, it’s wrought with risks for him. Introduce maybe, but not necessarily pair off, I think that would be my approach if it all goes ahead. Even then I think that’s fraught with danger for Master McKenna.

        I think, if you’re catering for a sort of tier of people, then how about keeping things very casual? Garden tea party with a talk would be great for you, with an emphasis on the importance of not comparing yourself to how the other half lives, as it were? That relationships and lifestyles vary, and there’s no cookie cutter, one size fits all approach? Sharing, rather than teaching? Just some thoughts there, though I hope they offer some sort of suggestion.

        Thankyou for the shoutout Shae. Honestly, I don’t know what the future holds for Kinky With A Twist yet. I’m not shutting it down, but whether or not I will ramble there again? I’m not really sure. I’m ashamed to say that I had a lot of background SEO work to do, that I’ve just done, so I’m waiting to see how that pays off. Also, Google is running a core algorothm update at the moment, so my SEO rankings have been tanked anyway. I’m hoping it won’t last for too much longer, then I can decide what I want to do going forward.

        Liked by 2 people

  3. Fascinating post, shae. Ever since reading The Story of O, I have been in love with the idea of a training site for future or current submissives, designed to move them to a place mentally and emotionally where they might better serves their masters. In reality, could this work? I like to think it could with proper planning. I have no idea how Master McKenna would approach protecting himself legally (given the nature of consensual non-consent being so tricky) in such an event, but I imagine he would think through that carefully, especially if any of the submissives that were invited were largely unknown to him. I could see designing a ” course” that includes both theory of submission (working through how it feels to submit, educating the submissive on sense of self and giving over one’s self, etc.) and some various tasks designed to put the submissive in a submissive headset (such a giving a blow job in front of peers, taking a spanking with an audience, etc.) might be a good course to start with. You might also include a course on learning to serve properly, knowing that most masters may have their own requirements. But learning how to properly serve a drink while topless, how to walk in a way that best showcases one’s body, how to kneel properly or complete other slave positions, etc., would be good training overall, even if a submissive’s master makes changes later. As an educator, you have been tasked with my dream job! I look forward to hearing more. XOXO

    Liked by 4 people

    1. This!! As I read Shae’s description, it felt very “weekend seminar-ish” which didn’t quite fit the topic at hand. The plot of the Story of O seemed more fitting, more like a bootcamp. Of course, I’m sure that not everybody is programmed to respond to such a heavy-handed introduction so perhaps they both have their place as a pathway to the desired destination.

      Liked by 4 people

      1. Hi Dave! Yes, The Story of O was a bit extreme (though wickedly exciting!). I imagine this sort of a course playing out across several evenings, and a weekend, easing the submissives into the more humiliating tasks. For example, the art of giving a blow job might be taught one evening, using say… a cucumber. The second night, the submissives are required to demonstrate what they remember with the cucumber, only this time…with the breasts bare. And then perhaps during the weekend portion of the class, they are required to give a blowjob to one of the Masters present, breasts bare and kneeling, in front of their peers. I like the idea of escalating the experience, similar to how some Masters might train a submissive one-on-one (greater degrees of humiliation as the submissive gets a feel for what it means to actually submit and obey).

        Liked by 5 people

    2. nora, wow, all of this is SO helpful. great ideas, all of them! I may incorporate all of this into my curriculum work in some way…

      I have had a sense of two parts to this, and you introduce a third. My first part was what I started to outline in my post — something aspirational. That is, mentoring “the submissive hidden within.” You are submissive, but to what degree, and how do you know, and what is it, and if so what to do with it? That sort of thing. And, as I said, I would frame it in the context of personal growth and the authentic life.

      You introduce something I hadn’t thought of, what you call the theory of submission. I’ll think about that more, but yes, what you said, and maybe it’s about the dynamics of dominance and submission together.

      And then a third part is the practical training. In my trainings, but especially mine under Master McKenna, it has struck me as a form of the vintage “etiquette school,” what I think in previous eras was called “finishing school.” In submissive training this takes on some of that, but is applied to uniquely D/s situations, as you said, such as serving drinks while topless, which is something I have a lot of experience with 🙂, but also slave positions, body posture, and so on.

      You provide examples of certain sub-slave activities — i.e., giving a blowjob in front of peers — and I think those kinds of things need to fit in somewhere, though I don’t know where. (I would need to find a man willing to help demonstrate (where oh where?) 😉 and, nora, I notice you couldn’t leave out our favorite thing, public spanking. That absolutely has to be in the curriculum somewhere!!!

      All to say, thanks for this. VERY helpful.

      Liked by 4 people

  4. so many ideas and thoughts makes for a good brain storming session. i woud like to think that submissives in gemeral would be able to attend not just women.
    i do know whatever happens it will be well thought out and genuine.7

    Liked by 4 people

    1. sindee, thank you for this nudge. in fact, I have thought much about this in regard to the school plans. and yes, this will be open to men and women. I should have made that clearer. Most of the possible candidates for this are within the social circles of Mistress Amanda and Master McKenna. Among those acquaintances of acquaintances, there are a couple of men, submissives, who might be possible. Amanda knows of one trans woman. So this is all in the conversation.

      Liked by 3 people

  5. One more thing comes to mind. In every description I’ve ever read of slave training/indoctrination, the slave has been solo. I wonder what the dynamics among a group of slaves would be. Would they rally around and encourage the slave who was having difficulty giving into an instruction from a Dom? Or, would they be a distraction?

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Dave, a very good point. I imagine the early sessions of the course(s) to be submissives only, not demonstrational yet. Later courses would involve actual dom(s) in some way to demonstrate. But even then I think it would be a kind of walk-through, miming the obediences, not trying to be actual submission of one to an actual dominant. Something where we can stop and start, in the act of it talk about “what you’re feeling now,” and so on. Yes, I would hope that others in the class would step in to help… You’re making me think that the “final exam” is maybe an actual session, one-on-one with a real dominant. Maybe that is solo. Good ideas, Dave.

      Liked by 4 people

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