me (updated)

Who and what are you?

My name is Shae Madigan. I’m 35, a college grad. I formerly worked in real estate, but now am am pursuing a career in writing.

I am by nature submissive. In fact, I am what is considered a “deep submissive.” I live as a 24/7 slave to a woman, Amanda.

How long have you been in slavery? How long have you been submissive?

I’ve lived in some form of submissive relationship for more than five years now. Much of this has been designated as “D/s slavery,” in which I have been owned by others whom I have served as a slave.

I believe I was born submissive, though of course I wasn’t self-aware about it until my later teens. Also, I didn’t really come to terms with and live out my submissiveness until later in my twenties. It was then I finally opened up to my sexuality and the extreme degree to which I am submissive.

What is this blog about?

Here I write about my daily life of slavery. Some of what I write is sexually explicit. Much of what I write reveals details about my being dominated. But I also write about the everyday experiences of slavery. In everything, I try to express not only my sexual feelings but my emotional and relational responses to how I am used as well. While the content I write is sometimes raw, my purpose is not to titillate but to express the deeper meaning and experience of my submission.

I also write fiction of various genres, including erotica. I post some of my erotica stories on this blog as well.

Who is this dominant you live with?

Mistress Amanda is my owner and mistress. We live together, and I am her slave 24/7. Amanda owns and runs her own business. She’s been in the lifestyle for a number of years.

Are you, then, bisexual?

Yes. I actually consider myself “sub-sexual,” my submissiveness being part of my sexual orientation, an attraction to dominance regardless of gender. But that’s a technical understanding. Yes, I am sexually attracted to both men and women equally. I have sexual experiences with both.

What do you look like?

I am five-seven and a smidge, about 130 pounds. I have red/auburn hair, shoulder length. Mistress Amanda won’t let me cut it. Green eyes. Fair-skinned with freckles. I’m on the busty side. My thighs have a little more definition because of recent activities. I think my feet are too big and my ass is too flat, but I’m not losing sleep over it.

You say you’ve been in slavery for five years. How many dominants have you been with previously?

Three. I served Master Michael for two years. He introduced me to the lifestyle, and specifically to a concept he calls “true slavery.” If you read my early posts, you can learn more about my life with him.

At one time Amanda was living with a man, Kevin, who is dominant also. Through a set of circumstances, I came to live with them as their slave. I’ve written about this period in my blog as well.

In late 2019, Amanda and Kevin amicably decided to split, and I went to live with Amanda, again in submission as her slave. I have served her now for nearly two years. These are written about in the later posts of my blog.

Is D/s the same as BDSM?

D/s is about relational dominance and submission, usually over a period of time — living for real in dominance and submission with someone else. This is my relationship to Amanda.

BDSM is usually an experience for a few hours at a time in which people roleplay dom and sub together. This often involves bondage paraphernalia and negotiated play.

D/s also uses some BDSM practices and paraphernalia, but is longer-term, and more about the relationship of dominant and submissive over time.

Do you see your lifestyle as being “alternative?” What does alternative mean?

Yes. I think most any D/s relationship is by definition alternative. As I understand it, “alternative” simply means a different approach to what is traditional. Most relationships in “vanilla” life are based on a sense of equality (as they should be). The alternative relationship of D/s finds meaning and richness in inequality and the exchange of power — where one controls another. D/s, by the way, is consensual — being a slave was never about my being forced to live this life. I consented initially to allow my Mistress to control me.

Are you a sex slave?

Well, I am called that, yes. Lucky me… There are slaveries that are not especially sexual, but mine is and sometimes intensely so. In true submission and dominance sex is an outcome or proof or consequence of one’s control over another. Sex can often be the ultimate submission.

What do people commonly misunderstand about your life as a slave?

They think I live in a cage and am in chains all the time. (Well, the chains part is more true of late.) No, I live a comfortable life, am well cared for, and am able to socialize, have fun, and do many things I want to do. But most of my life is in servitude to the needs of Mistress A, sexually and otherwise, which fulfills me as a submissive and makes me happy doing so.

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So, this is my blog, and these are my thoughts, experiences, trainings, joys, punishments, and challenges as I walk through this odd and amazing life