When I was in Colorado, I had lunch with Maria. This post is a brief overview of our conversation. It may not be of interest to most, but I offer it here as a glimpse of what might be the beginning of my relationship with Maria and her possible involvement with Master McKenna and me at the mansion in the future…
To quickly review, Maria is the woman who provides Master McKenna’s mansion cleaning and laundry services. She works hard, he pays her well, she loves her job. She’s in her early thirties, Hispanic, with dark hair, lovely eyes, and a really cute smile. During my services there, Maria and I have developed a friendly connection. She has seemed interested about my slavery to him, prompted by glimpses of Master M’s sessions with me. In my times there, she’s asked me a few questions, signaling an interest in my lifestyle and what it means to “live submissive.”
Master M is aware of Maria’s interest, and has encouraged me to counsel her and perhaps become, if she wishes, her tutor in the art of submissive living.
Some of this conversation might be informative to readers here. I’ll share the high points, avoid repetitions. BTW, I have Maria’s permission to share this, though I am also respecting her wishes to omit a few private things.
We had a lovely lunch. It lasted two and a half hours. And we had wine. 🙂
“It’s nice,” I said, “to see you in another setting than in the laundry room of the mansion.”
She smiled. “Yes. And I could say something the same about you. Not the laundry but—”
“Tied up in the Great Room,” I said.
We both laughed.
We had both known this getogether was ultimately for the purpose of talking about my D/s life and her possible submissive inclinations, and our conversation slid into that rather quickly.
If there’s a difference between curiosity and interest, Maria has alreadyu crossed over. Curiosity can be distant, objective, “for someone else.” Interest suggests something more personal, subjective, and possible. When I first came to Master McKenna’s mansion, Maria was curious. Now her questions come from her personal interest.
She asked about how I knew I was submissive. I have written about that often before, so won’t rehash those details here. She had experiences and awarenesses in childhood and adolescence that were submissive, much as I did. She likewise comes from a religious background (Catholic) that tends to be repressive about sexual things. We compared notes.
For me and others, I said, being submissive is actually inborn, deeply interwoven into who we are. But for others, submissiveness is just one desire among many, optional and occasional. I suggested it was something for her to think about.
Maria has a bearing that suggests a deeper submissive need like mine. While I don’t believe you can determine a person’s submissiveness by their personality type (sometimes quiet persons can be quite dominant at heart), I have picked up in her all along — and here at lunch — a submissive presence that makes me feel she is on the edge of discovering some depths of her submissive nature.
Interesting to me, she never asked me why I do this life. That says a lot to me. I think because of what she already knows inside herself, she already knows why.
I was careful to remain neutral in my approach to Maria regarding the submissive life. In the past, I’m afraid I’ve been too much a cheerleader for D/s, not cautionary enough. D/s life can be hard, and living in submission 24/7 is on another level of commitment. Of course, it can be extraordinarily wonderful as well, and opens you up to dimensions of life you never dreamed of. But the cost of the life is significant. I tried to represent all of this to Maria in a fair balance.
I also spoke with her about options for D/s that are not 24/7. Maybe a part-time connection with a dominant, something online once a week, or possibly friend or significant other. I mentioned that some people “role-play” sub — from time to time slipping into a submissive role with a dominant partner. That might be an option too. However, I said, she needed to be careful that a partner is genuinely dominant and not an abuser.
That led us into a discussion that I was unprepared for. I said that a true dominant “cultivated” you. He can be severe and rough and all-consuming, but there is something you feel with him that’s proud of you and interested in making you better. You can feel that, I said. I also fell back on my old adage about consistency and anger, “If a dom can’t control himself, he has no business controlling you.” True, but my words on this were inadequate. I’d appreciate feedback on this.
Of course, the elephant in the room was Master McKenna, so to speak. If there is an example of a genuinely dominant man who was severe in his way yet responsible in handling his slaves it is him. I also mentioned my former master, Michael, who was benevolently dominating. And, of course, Amanda, although our relationship is unique, not purely domme-sub.
We talked about all of them. “I have been fortunate,” I told her. But her reference point is Master McKenna, and she has seen how he is with me.
I told her that I thought it might be possible for Master McKenna to include her in one of his sessions with me.
Without hesitation, she said, “I would like that.”
Eager though she was, she soon expressed reservations: “I can’t do what you do with him.”
I replied, “When I started in submission, I couldn’t do what I do with him now.” I explained that this is a process over time of training, cultivation, experience. “It doesn’t happen all at once.”
She said she was shy about her body, and admired how well I handled being nude around and about the mansion.
I told her she is beautiful and would be much desired in that way. “But,” I added, “being undressed in public view has been a long-developing thing for me, still difficult for me often.”
I also explained that not all forms of D/s are sexual and have to involve nudity. “Going in to any submissive relationship, you can define for yourself what it should be and not be. You can specify limits. And there are different types of slavery, not all being sexual or physical.” I assured her, “if something works out with Master McKenna to include you in some things with me, he will take you slowly.”
I mentioned that simple things can be amazing submissive experiences. I told her that Master McKenna might just teach her how he wants her to sit and stand and walk, and how incredible that would make her feel.
She just smiled at that. (Again, Maria has such a delightful smile.)
There was much we talked about that I’m not representing here. Some is not lifestyle related (shopping and clothes), some is about my submissive nature which I’ve already written about often (i.e., my submissiveness being my sexual orientation), and some is quite personal to Maria and not her wish to be made public as yet.
I told Maria in very general terms about Master M’s planning of another dom retreat. I felt it was too soon to suggest she observe some parts of that (which is what Master intends). But I said that was in the planning stages.
And I also mentioned Master M’s idea of a school for submissives, although I didn’t call it that. I just said that he wanted to create something — a retreat or conference or a curriculum or a school of sorts — for the purpose of explaining the D/s life to prospective submissives and training them in basic skills. I told her he had asked me to develop this, to start planning a curriculum, and perhaps to be its director if it comes to fruition.
“I like the idea of developing it,” I said. “Writing the curriculum and such. But I’m less sure about actually being the director. I find it ironic for him to tap a submissive for the purpose of leading something.”
“But you would be perfect for that,” she said. “Think of it just as sharing your experience.”
“By the way,” Maria asked, “Any chance I could get into that?”