There are other places, but we have settled on the diner as an easy, comfortable choice. Halfway between him and me, both in distance and lifestyle.
I ask about him and his life, and I am genuinely interested in what he’s doing these days, especially where his mind is at on various things in the world — but our conversations inevitably gravitate to my life in D/s. I have become comfortable in his probings, as he both challenges my thinking and also is a safe repository for my secrets. But most of all, I confess, he is my connection to a life I am removed from, a life which I sorely long for.
Jeremy observes that my experiences with Master M and with Kevin, as I have written them, are more intense and “erotically drenched” than my experiences with Amanda. “Are you more inclined toward men?” he asks.
I take a moment in the realization once again that he has, through my blog descriptions, essentially watched me in my sexual encounters. My mind flits through the many posts I’ve shared of my having sex, and I realize he’s likely read them all. It’s an embarrassment, but not a blushing one, rather a deeper acknowledgment that Jeremy knows me in this way.
I smile, nodding. I must decide whether to engage in this more explicitly with him or skate past it. I jump in. “I dare ask,” I finally say, “why you feel my times with men are more… erotically drenched, as you put it.”
“It seems those accounts are more sexually heightened. With men. And you, obviously — you write about this often — have a longing, almost an addiction… I’m referring to oral sex that is.”
“Well, there’s that.” I laugh, a self-conscious laugh, I’m sure. “I don’t deny that I’m a more sexual woman than I used to think I was. Than I ever imagined I was. But more so with men? I think that’s more a matter of my blog choices.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t write about sex with Amanda very often, by choice. My choice. I have wanted to keep our most intimate moments private. So I write about my times with the men more often. That may be part of your impression.”
Jeremy nods, pondering this. He sips his coffee, then says, “I think you have written about you and Amanda, sex I mean, but I think it’s just been one time. You have the bath scenes, though. Those are very hot.”
I shake my head. “When did you become the expert of my blog archive?” I say with a chuckle.
I talk about the sorry state of my blog, the organizational mess it is, and my general disinterest in learning the technical business around it. He talks about some new software that he’s using to organize his work.
Eventually he returns to my sex life. He is struck by how physical the men are with me. “Is there a difference between slave sex with men and slave sex with women?”
He asks such good questions. “In my case, yes, I get how you would think that. Kevin, when he had me for slave sex, was intensely physical with me. Master M can be too. Amanda is different with me, but that’s her personality and dominant style. I’m not sure you can say that another dom woman, in handling me, would be like Amanda just because she is female. I would think female dommes can be just as physical and forceful as male doms.”
Jeremy nods, seeming to think this is a good answer. Soon he returns to his original question: “Are you more inclined toward men?”
I smile across at him. “I think I am equally ravenous with women and men.”
He laughs. This seems to satisfy him. At least for now.