Lots, lots of questions about my attraction to and relationship with Amanda and other women. Note that to some who asked questions, I have written separately to answer more personally.
You say your “sexual orientation is submissive,” if I understand you right. Does that mean you are attracted only to women who dominate you?
Yes to the first part: you understand me right. As I’ve written before, I believe my sexuality is driven by my submissive nature. As a result, I respond sexually to whatever, whomever is dominant.
But that doesn’t mean I’m attracted just to dominant women — it’s not that simple. I like other women as well.
I think for some there are social, cultural, maybe religious, resistances to same-sex attractions. That was me once. Once those were overcome — which happened through my own submissiveness and the life that put me in — intimacy with other women became possible and desirable. And maybe preferable.
Do you have crushes on other women? Are you attracted to women in the public arena — like movie stars, TV personalities, musicians?
Yes and yes. For obvious reasons, I won’t name names of anyone at Amanda’s workplace, or anyone I know likely reading my blog. But there are two, who will remain nameless, I have a bit of a crush on, I have to say.
In entertainment, I am over the moon for Christina Hendricks, currently of Good Girls on Netflix and formerly of Mad Men. I know this is because she reminds me so of Amanda, and also because she feels so strong (dominant?) to me. Another crush of mine is the actress Emma Stone.
I tend to be drawn to older women, older than me, again perhaps because of an impression of age dominance, or something — Catherine Zeta-Jones and Julianne Moore, for example.
And then Hollywood actresses of the forties and fifties, which readers know is an interest of mine. My heroine, Rita Hayworth. And Grace Kelly, oh my god.
You have been sexually shared with a friend and colleague of your Master. Do you think you might ever be sexually shared by Amanda with another woman?
Yes. Mistress Amanda has talked about it. I think it’s likely. I don’t know if it will be just me and another woman, or if it will include Amanda. Because of other things going on, I don’t think it will happen soon. But I don’t know.
I know the intent behind your question. You know I can’t make something happen on my own, and can’t choose someone myself, much as I might like to. It will be Amanda who decides whenever this happens and who it is with.
Your relationship with your Mistress often seems romantic. Do you feel that with your Master as well? Or do you think you can only feel a romantic attraction to other women?
Wow. That’s an insightful question! A lot to unpack there.
My relationship with Mistress Amanda not only seems romantic, it is romantic. We dance around that, and I am coy with that in my writing, I know, but we both are well aware and acknowledge that to each other. Our relationship, however, is many other things as well, and it is important for me to engage with all the dimensions of who Amanda and I are, not just one. She wants all of it from me, not just one part.
My relationship with Master K is not romantic in that sense, and I say that knowing he would not want me to think or say that it is. That is not to say, at least in a D/s sense, that his relationship with me is lacking or less. He dominates me profoundly, and there is a lot of submissive girl in me that swoons in that. He is wonderful in his pounding power.
But the last question — if I feel “romantic” only with women — is prescient, as the answer of it might be yet to be determined. I don’t know. I think my “lesbian life” is evolving and much is yet to be discovered.
My previous slavery was under Master Michael, and I think it was obvious that I had romantic attractions to him. So I don’t think that, for me, romantic attraction is either/or as pertains to gender. Yet, I admit, I feel I am more inclined toward women in a romantic way.
That is, if I can imagine a life in which I actually dated someone, it is with another woman. If I imagine a Valentine’s Day, it is gift-wrapping chocolates for a woman, who has become the love of my life. If I imagine a wedding, I am the bride to a woman who is my Mistress.
These are thoughts, feelings, dreams, fantasies. More than I should share, probably.