This is not my main post for today, and it may seem an odd interjection amid all that’s going on, but I feel I need to talk this out on the heels of my post yesterday about the neighbors.
So, there’s been some discussion with Amanda about how I handle blogging about others in the neighborhood. How I write about others has long been a sensitive matter in my writing conscience, and now will become more so in my more-intimate future with these people around our block.
I have always seen my life as an open book, or, if you will, “open blog post,” and when I started writing online, I vowed to be transparent and explicit in my accounts of my experiences, submissive and sexual. I wouldn’t consider that virtuous of me — I have needed to write these intimate things to make sense of myself, to process my own life for myself. So in this space I have offered myself up intimately to readers, uncensored.
Further, my owners have never restrained me in this — they’ve encouraged me to blog and have given me a green light to express anything and everything I wish to. As it happens, they find interest in reading my posts to discover more of how I feel and respond in slave situations.
But when I started to become shared with others, it became a bit of a question how to report out on my experiences with them and theirs with me. I have navigated this a bit gingerly, but it’s worked out well enough, I think. It helps that I am usually not negative or critical of others — it’s not really the point of my blogs to “review others.” That’s not part of who I am. If anything, in my blog writing, I am more critical of myself.
A more intricate problem has emerged as more people in our social circles are reading my blog. They will now be reading about each other and be discovering my intimacies with people they know down the block.
I think I was first aware of this issue several years ago when Amanda threw an office party at our house. Her employees already knew about Amanda’s lifestyle (she’s open and up front about that) and they had met me and known I was “a woman kept by her” in some sort of “different lifestyle.” People often don’t have the language for what I am.
At this party I had interactions with every one of them. Later on in my blog, I was reporting out on the party, various conversations, and my feelings of others’ impressions of me as a slave. I realized then that they all, back at the office, might be reading my blog and discovering much about each other as each related to me and my submission.
So what should I have done? Not write about the party? Edit my post to exclude specifics? Both of those options violate my prime directive, if you will, for writing my blog.
For better or worse, I chose to write fully and transparently.
But now there will be neighbors intimately involved with me. How do I handle writing about them so personally? I need to be free to write my life, but do they want their private moments with me to be shared?
I should make it clear that I change people’s names when I write about them. A few exceptions: my real name is Shae, and my mistress’s real name is Amanda. Yet, changing names of neighbors protects their privacy with people outside our housing group but not from those within. Neighbors know who the other neighbors are that I’m reporting about.
What to do?
Obviously, this is a unique set of circumstances for me and for them. Who does this — and then writes publicly about it? There are no precedents we know of.
Amanda has suggested to everyone that this is an experiment, and with some mature grace and forgiveness when needed, “let’s all give it a try.” There are “things we’ll have to figure out,” she’s said. And, she’s proposed a set of guidelines for my writing about these experiences.
Amanda has made the executive decision that I must remain free to write about neighbor experiences transparently just as I normally write about her and Master McKenna and everyone else.
Amanda has talked with the neighbors individually, assuring them that it is not my style to “review them.” Also, she’s said to them that I will not air what I hear them say about other neighbors or things about family. Amanda doesn’t want my blog to become a gossip column. (Frankly, I filter that stuff out anyway, so this is no new imposition.)
Amanda is so good at woo. She’s said to the neighborhood that I have written publicly about her for years, and that’s been a good, not negative, experience. And she’s made the point that the neighbors have been reading my blog all along, and so “you all know how Shae is responsible and respectful with her words.” (I was deeply pleased that my writing became a positive icon in the discussion.)
At the same time, Amanda made it clear to the neighbors that I will be at times explicit. Other neighbors will read about them that way. If they don’t want that to happen, then they need to back out of their sharing experience with me.
So far, no one has.