You are/are called a sex slave. What does that mean in your daily life?
I am called a sex slave, and I also am a sex slave. I have come to accept that.
It means I am seen and viewed and treated as a sexual object a lot of the time. I have come to understand this as being three things: sexualization, sexual play, and acts of sex.
Sexualization refers to what is done to me to make me aware of my sexual purpose. It is, quite literally, about making me into a sex object. It may be how I am addressed, what I am called, words used abut me when I am spoken to. It is also how I am dressed (or not dressed) on a daily basis. As everyone knows, I am not permitted to wear a bra or panties, and this is creates a constant self-awareness that I am different, and that I am available sexually. Also, I may be sexualized int he way I am made to sit or stand or walk.
Sexual play is about how others touch me intimately. It isn’t sex itself, but it is about being handled or fondled by others because I am a sex object and sex slave. If my mistress makes me available to them, they may play with me as pleasures them.
Sex is maybe the ultimate experience in being a sex slave. My primary purpose is to provide myself for sex with Amanda. But she may be starting to share me with others, and in our arrangement and definition of things, sex with others, as she chooses, will be part of my slavery.
Does slavery make you more sexual?
Yes. Sexualization and sex play make for a kind of constant foreplay. Even just physically, I am aroused a lot of the time. I think there’s a sweet spot for sexual activity in which one’s libido and sexual drive are heightened.
In my pre-slavery life, I think I was more sexual than I allowed myself to be. But now in slavery, the frequency of sexual things has certainly made me “more sexual” more/most of the time.
Do you ever get tired of being treated as a sex slave, sex object?
Yes. Sometimes. I think at some points there is too much at once, and I just get mentally tired. Like I say, there is a sweet spot of frequency and stimulation and arousal. Too much — or too little — dampens my sexual capacity.
I think an important part of this is how I am treated in other ways. If I didn’t have other things that gave me significance and value, I would likely resist my sexualization each and every day. But I am valued for other things, other interests — my abilities in the workplace with Amanda, my writing, my interests in books and the arts. And so I never ever feel that being a sex object is my only value, even if others reduce me to sexual use and pleasure.
Did slavery make you bisexual?
Interesting question. No, but I think that in vanilla life we don’t always give ourselves to the fullest range of sexuality that we actually have by nature. Slavery does open you up, so to speak, to other experiences that you might never have permitted yourself to sample.
For me, I know now I have always been bisexual, but my conservative, religious upbringing made that part of me forbidden to acknowledge or express. That repression persisted through my adult life until close to the time I was in D/s and considering a submissive life 24/7.
So, my slavery, yes, has allowed me to open myself to lesbian experiences, and as a result I have discovered a broader ranger of my sexual self in my bisexuality.
Of course, Amanda makes it easy to go there.
Did your need to overcome repression lead you into into D/s slavery?
The answer is no. If anyone really knew how fucking submissive I am, there would be no question in anyone’s mind that this is the life I have to live.
I think our sexuality is a lot of things, not just one. This includes orientation but also submissiveness and dominance as well as a rich fantasy life and an array of desires.
For me, my eventual decision to overcome my repression became an open door for both my bisexuality as well as my deep submissive nature.
Do you have advice for a submissive women entering the D/s lifestyle for the first time?
I have written and said this before, but will say so again and again — because this is dear to my heart, the fulfillment and safety and well-being of other submissive women like me.
Make your obedience in sexual slavery intentional and meaningful by giving your absolute best to it.
That seems hard to do. You are sexualized in terms that are not your choice and required to submit to sex in various ways others want to have you.
But it’s important not only to submit yourself but to devote yourself to what is being done to you. When you are made to wear a revealing dress, wear it well and proudly. When you are called a certain name, receive it intentionally. When you are made to give a man a blow job, make love to his cock like he’s your knight in shining armor. When you are taken by a mistress into her bed, give yourself to her with passion and pleasure.
I am writing about sexual slavery specifically, but this applies to other forms of D/s submission and submissions that are not sexual at all.
Submission isn’t passive. It’s not about silently absorbing what is done to you. That will, in fact destroy you. Submission is, yes, about being the sex slave you are, but also about giving yourself to it actively.
Submission is about living this slave life richly and meaningfully and intentionally.